Career change

It has been driving me crazy not to blog about this, but today I finally can! A few weeks/days before Little Lady's birth, Christian and I decided that I would quit my full time job after my maternity leave was over. Today I went in and told my bosses, which was sad because I really do like the people on our team and will miss them. The decision wasn't made lightly, because financially I still bring in more than childcare costs, even with 2 children. I think it was really more of a head decision for us.

I won't be leaving the workforce entirely, though. I have accepted a part-time position working for Blue Volcano Media handling some social media accounts, which is the kind of work I can do during naptimes, at night and on weekends, and from my iPhone. So far, it's been a ton of fun, and I'll be representing Blue Volcano Media at BlogHer 2011 in San Diego this year! Come meet up with me and say "hi"! We hope to have great PR opportunities for bloggers in the coming year, so make sure I get your contact info!

What scared me the most about this job transition was letting our wonderful nanny go. We are so thankful that she went straight to work for some friends of ours with no gap in employment or pay. That was definitely one of my biggest concerns. A close second, though, is the fact that I just let go of a TON of help!

Little Sir watching out he window
on his nanny's last day

Over the last year she has done so much with Little Sir, given him so much attention and really helped him to develop. Many times I have wondered to myself if I would have done as good of a job as she did - or if I can now. Now that Little Lady is here, I have to spend so much time nursing her and taking care of her that I wonder if I am leaving him to himself too much, not reading to him as much as I should, or letting him watch TV too frequently. Not to mention when he runs off and gets into things and I can't follow because I'm on the couch breastfeeding. Poor Little Lady has had to learn to latch while I'm walking around sometimes!

At the same time, it's been really nice so far to get to spend so much time with Little Sir, even though he is definitely getting to be a handful. He has such a personality now, and he says and does the funniest things. I really should be keeping up with those more on our family blog.

We are also continuing our slow-but-steady redesign of this blog, so thanks for the patience. I really think the end result will be worth it. My husband is doing a great job!

I have some good ideas for upcoming posts, including a list of my favorite postpartum products, so hang in there with me as I embark on this new journey!

Writer's Workshop: Quote

"Smile, like you've got nothing to prove. No matter what you might do, there's always someone out there cooler than you. 
I know that's hard to believe, but there are people you meet - they're into something that is too big to be expressed through their clothes."
- Ben Folds, "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You"

If I had one song lyric to share with my kids, this would be it.
True, the song also includes reference to beer and uses several curse words, but I think the message is important. Also, Ben Folds is brillant.

I had a pretty good high school experience overall, not because I was popular (I was NOT), but because I didn't care. I think I learned about halfway in that there's always someone cooler than me.

"Now that I've got the disease, in a way I'm relieved
Cause' I don't have to stress about it like you do.
I might just get up and dance or buy some acid washed pants
If you don't care then you got nothing to lose"

It is a huge relief not to do things because you wonder how it's going to look to your peers, or how it will affect your social standing. Now, to authority figures and people who were my actual friends, it's always been a different story. I am definitely a people pleaser in that regard.

Then again, that's what makes this song remain important, even now!

I need to remember this as much as ever now that I'm a mom. I'm never going to be the coolest mom or the hippest, or whatever. My children will most likely not do calculus at 3 years old, or even read early or be super artistic.

I hope that they are original, and that they don't fear the opinions of people who don't matter.

Rock on, Ben Folds.

This post is a part of the Bloggy Mom's Writer's Workshop.

2 cats need a home other than mine

They used to be our 2 fur babies.

When our oldest cat, Samantha, was a kitten I made the mistake of carrying her around with me EVERYWHERE, which formed in her an insatiable desire for attention and adoration. When Christian met her while we were dating, she loved him immediately. He called her his girlfriend and said he came to visit me only to see her. When my other cat passed away, she was very sad so we got Gabby to be Samantha's friend. Unfortunately, the two of them never bonded. For several years they hated each other, and now they have a mutual tolerance for each other, borne of old age and the necessity to share the comfy spaces available to them in the house.

Yes, they used to get a lot of attention and pampering from us, but not anymore. Now the two REAL babies take up all our time and energy, and these two cats are just fur-shedding, food-vomiting, litterbox-fouling annoyances.
To me, at least.

I want to strangle one or both of them every single day when I go to set down one of the children and find the area covered in cat hair, or when I walk in the door toting a toddler in one arm and an infant car seat in the other, only to startle a cat who leaves a trail of vomit all across the floor of two rooms. Knowing that the reason they vomit is to protest that we tried to change their food from the super expensive organic cat food to more moderately priced versions does not make me sympathetic toward them. What it means is that they are spoiled brats and when I try to cut back, they punish us by vomiting selectively on things that are difficult to clean.

Then, of course, there is the constant yowling outside the toddler's door in the early morning, waking him up because one of the cats decided she NEEDS to eat RIGHT NOW and not in 10 minutes when the automatic feeder would have fed her. And the hiding under our bed so that they can wake me up during the precious 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep I actually get between infant feedings.

For all of these reasons and many, many more, we need to get rid of these cats.

Apparently it's not so easy.

You would think that since they are both declawed, fixed, and female it would be easy. At least, I thought it would be. Unfortunately, the fact that they're declawed means they can't be outside cats, and I guess most people we know only want partial- to fully-outside cats. Also, they are 5 and 7 years old. They aren't cute little kittens. They are fat, lazy adult/senior cats.

Samantha, in particular, would be a great companion for an elderly person. Her sole desire in life is to sit around all day being petted.

As much as I personally want to murder them on an hourly basis, I don't actually want to surrender them to a shelter that might euthanize them. I have contacted all the no-kill shelters in my area but they are all full or do not accept owner surrenders (they only "rescue" animals that are already at kill shelters). I have also contacted several veterinarians who said they don't know of anyone looking for cats.

I've been told that I should NOT list them on Craigslist because people who abuse animals lurk on there to find animals to abuse. However, Craiglist does have an option to list them with a "re-homing fee", which I tend to think would defer anyone looking for an easy target. I am seriously considering listing them with a $20 re-homing fee.
What do you think? Any ideas?

Buy Buy Baby stroller insanity

I sent a few tweets over the last few days about my experience at Buy Buy Baby in Dallas with a stroller car seat adapter. In one of the tweets I mentioned that I would blog about the experience I had.

I can summarize the experience in a paragraph, but I want to talk about why I would blog about a bad experience with a good company: because it's important for us as consumers to be able to set our expectations of a store or business before we buy there. It's up to each of us to decide whether the weakness of the brand is greater than their strengths.

Sometimes, such as in this case, I might have a bad experience with a store or brand, but remain loyal to the company for products outside the scope of the current issue. I like Buy Buy Baby because, although they are a national chain, they carry a lot of natural and organic baby and kids stuff that I'd normally have to buy online (and pay shipping, and wait 3-5 days...). They are also well-known for their great customer service when something goes wrong. I have also heard they are one of the best companies to work for in the U.S., so I know they treat their employees well, which is a big deal to me when I shop at a national chain (and part of the reason I rarely EVER shop at Walmart). Plus, they are the same company as Bed, Bath & Beyond, so they accept BBB 20% off coupons and gift cards as well!

What Buy Buy Baby is not good at (at least in the Dallas location) is being knowledgeable about their own products. This is not the first time I've gone to that location and known more about the product than the person selling it.

To be completely honest, what this experience has taught me is not that I can't trust Buy Buy Baby for the natural and organic products I need in the future, but just that I would not recommend buying a stroller from Buy Buy Baby (or another big-ticket item that would require knowledgeable sales staff). I would definitely recommend going to a boutique-style shop and talking to friends and family who have experience with the brand or product.




So, having addressed that topic as it is, here is the experience in brief:
We bought an amazing Baby Jogger City Select stroller, along with a second seat (to make it a double), a tray attachment, and a special car seat adapter that will allow me to put Little Lady's infant car seat in the stroller as a second seat until she is big enough for the full seat, all at the same time from the Buy Buy Baby in Dallas (off the Tollway). We had a little trouble finding a car seat adapter in the store that had not been opened and had all the parts in it. It cost $60. We went home and found the box HAD been previously opened and contained only 2 small pieces out of what should have been around 10 pieces. We had just paid $60 for an almost completely empty box. The next morning, I piled both kids into the car and went up to Buy Buy Baby again to get an unopened box. The associates had trouble finding an unopened box again, and also seemed very unfamiliar with the Baby Jogger brand at all. At one point they suggested I ALSO take one of the other previously-opened boxes that also had pieces missing, in the hopes that between the two boxes I would have enough pieces... what? NO. I want an UNOPENED BOX WITH ALL THE PIECES. They eventually dug around and found me a box that was smashed but unopened. I took their word for it and left. When I got home, I discovered that they had given me a car seat adapter for the wrong model stroller. So I had to go back a THIRD TIME. This time I went directly to the Plano store and asked for the manager, who immediately understood what I needed and got it (unlike the first time I went back to the Dallas store when I had to explain to 2 associates and a manager what I needed and they were still confused).

In the end, the Buy Buy Baby customer service still stood up at the Plano store, so I know it's not dead. Which is good, since they seem to get things wrong a lot in Dallas. And yes, I will probably still be going back for all my natural and organic baby and toddler needs - even to the Dallas store. It's just a good example of how sometimes we're forced to just suck it up when we have bad experiences and continue to throw our money into the bottomless pit that is baby and children's products.

Am I back?

I feel like I should probably read Galit's guest post about balance regularly.

Every time I've had a major life change, it has taken me some time to regain my equilibrium. I'm old enough now to anticipate it and expect it, although that is in no way similar to actually being prepared.

So I knew this 2-kids thing was going to knock me for a loop. Little Sir is young enough that the sleepless newborn nights aren't even a full year behind us, and here we are again.

My body has bounced back, but my mind... maybe not so fast. I think at 33, sleep is something that my mind actually needs more of in order to function than it did at 22.

It's not so much that I haven't had the time to blog, but that whenever I think of writing lately, my mind turns into a giant mush. Well, really any time I try to have any deep or coherent thoughts at all my mind goes mushy, nevermind trying to write.

I wanted to say: thanks for hanging around while I mentally recover. Don't give up on me yet!

Guest Blogger: Galit Breen - Balance

I just had a baby! While I am out on maternity leave for a few weeks or so, I have begged some of the bloggers that I stalk most admire to contribute guest posts to this space so it won't be lonely. The posts are so awesome that I am afraid you won't want me back.

The goal of these guests posts is to bring new and different insights to this space. Viewpoints that I am unfamiliar with, advice from those who have been where I have not been, and ideas that might seem foreign to myself and my readers but are important to consider.

Galit Breen is currently freezing her tushy off in Minnesota. On any given day she can be found juggling her husband, three kids and new-ish puggle. She has an affinity for chocolate, mojitos and books. Indulging in all three at the same time is a dream come true. Galit writes monthly columns at TC Jewfolk and World Moms Blog. Her writing has been published at fabulous places such as Scary Mommy, Jewesses With Attitude and Bring Me The News. You can find her blogging at theselittlewaves.com, e-mailing from galitbreen@gmail.com, tweeting at @galitbreen and facebooking at http://www.facebook.com/galitbreen. She is excited to be here at Jenny's place with you!


~~~~~

A few weeks ago I announced to the world, well my Facebook world, that I had just had the most perfect weekend. EVER. My wonderfully amazing girlfriends immediately asked the obvious question: What happened?!

Feeling more than slightly embarrassed, I realized that it did indeed look like I had wanted everyone to ask so I could announce…something. Something amazing. Wonderful. Life changing, even. Except, you know what? I didn’t actually have anything to share.

I did have a perfect weekend. A girls’ night. A date night. A big, huge messier-than-necessary project with the kids. A day filled with good food and good friends enjoyed together as a family. The house was clean(-ish). We had eaten healthily(-ish). And I felt totally and completely content. Not in-want or in-need of anything. At all. I didn’t have any big news. What I did have, was balance.

It really is that rare to find balance that it warrants the words BEST and EVER. In all capital letters. Life balance, where your schedule, mind and heart are all filled with the right proportions of absolutely everything that you need. That can be tricky to achieve. But it is within reach, within grasp. And you know what? I want it.

I’ve been striving for balance for a long time now. Before we had kids, Jason and I were the quintessential co-dependent couple. Before you roll your eyes at us, remember that this was post-what had seemed like forever of being long distance; so we clung close. Teaching was the other part of my identity that I threw myself into. Late nights, deep attachments, creative projects, homemade gifts. And when Kayli was born, I followed the same throw-myself-in philosophy. I just wanted to be a mom and truly didn’t think that I needed anything beyond Jason and Kayli and didn’t seek a whole lot else out. 

Fast-forward just a few short years later, and today our family is probably a bit over-committed. I’m still really protective of our family time. I feel truly rejuvenated with it and completely depleted without it. But I’ve learned how to carve out time to read books, go out with friends, volunteer, connect with our family and outside of it.

But it doesn’t come any more naturally. I actually have to consciously do it. Allowing ourselves balance is a necessary life skill. Especially as women, as care-takers, we don’t often gift ourselves the time to find our spark. We push our energies to support everyone around us. There’s so much give and take with time and commitments, that sometimes, we lose ourselves.

I also wonder about Jason, and his balance. He works long hours and when he comes home I hardly hand him a drink and the remote. More like a kid (Or two!) and the plea for help with dinner.

By the time our kids are asleep and there’s a semblance of order to our home, we’re both ready to pass out. It’s hard to peel ourselves off of the couch and go out with friends. Or each other.  Or curl up with a book. Or craft. Or write. Or exercise. But I do know that when I dig deep and find that energy, I have two-fold the next day.

I hope my kids find balance. With friends and significant others. Family and community. Must-dos and want-to-dos. As I’m learning this skill, I hope that I’m also modeling for my children that it’s okay, that it’s a must, to sometimes put yourself first.

While still a work in progress, for sure, I’m so much more aware when I’m sans balance. On days when my house is spotless, but I haven’t played with my kids. When we’ve been outside all day long, but no one has any clean clothes to wear. When I’ve been out late with friends, but I have no idea how Jason’s work day was. I know, and I refocus.

So far, today has been a good, balanced day. I won’t make that my Facebook status, but I will tell you. Chloe, Brody and I splashed around in rain puddles and they played with worms (I, however, did not). We made air-pop popcorn, cuddled up and read oodles of books in our comfy-cozies. They played cars while I put the laundry away. We picked Kayli up from school and ate lunch. Now, they’re all napping or resting. 

I’m completely by myself.

Writing and enjoying a chai latte.

And no one is trying to dip their nuky in my cup. Nope, no one at all.

Balanced, indeed.

Guest Blogger: She Likes Purple - More Than You

I just had a baby! While I am out on maternity leave for a few weeks or so, I have begged some of the bloggers that I stalk most admire to contribute guest posts to this space so it won't be lonely. The posts are so awesome that I am afraid you won't want me back.

The goal of these guests posts is to bring new and different insights to this space. Viewpoints that I am unfamiliar with, advice from those who have been where I have not been, and ideas that might seem foreign to myself and my readers but are important to consider.

Today's guest blogger is Jennie from She Likes Purple. I met Jennie some time in late 2009, I believe, at a DFW blogger meetup (maybe the one at Village Tea?). Jennie also runs the blogs Style Lush and Food Lush, so check them out!

I just want to say that I personally LOVE this post because it just so perfectly describes how we feel about our little boys...

~~~~~

"Kisses!" You lean in, with a slobbery, open-mouthed smile. "Thank you, buds!" You grin like it's your job every time I thank you for something.

Whenever I open the backseat door to get you out of your carseat, I call out, "Hiiiiiii!" and you wave, with just your hand now instead of your whole arm. "Hiiiiiii, buds!" And you grin.

Each morning I go in to greet you, and you hand me something from your crib. A pacifier, rogue bottle, Mr. Pup. It's your way of saying, We're ready to get out now. "Morning, buds!" I say, and you grin.

You love to walk, but insist on holding both my hands, so the other day I tried to coax you into a few steps just hanging onto one hand. I kept saying, "You can do it, buds! You can do it!" And you tried, a couple steps, grinning like a fool. Then we danced around the room together, celebrating.

You sit in your high chair while I bake. You grin when I turn on the mixer and you grin when I give you a taste of the red velvet bars and you grin when I say "uh-oh!" whenever I miss a step in the recipe. Sometimes I catch you throwing Molly food, and I say, "No, buds, YOU eat!" And you always take the next bite, grinning to bide your time until I turn around so you can toss her more.

You grin whenever she walks in the room.

I used to fear this life, this suburban mortgage and white fence and a baby on my hip. I want more, I used to think. I wanted Spain and novels and wild loves and adventures.

I met your dad and instantly wanted you.

I know so many people who pity this ordinary life, and even I feel that way when the barf and exhaustion reign supreme. I can't quite compare it to those past-life wants since I've not yet made it to Spain and I've not yet written a word of that novel, but I was a fool back then for thinking there was more to want than you.

I still want more. I still want to go to Spain and write and have wild adventures with your dad and throw fantastic parties and nap again one day, too. I want so much, it's true. I hope I'll always want more.

But wanting more than this, more than that goofy, full-hearted grin, more than you?

No, buds, there's nothing more than you.

Guest Blogger: Texan Mama - Are You Closed-Minded? Am I?

I just had a baby! While I am out on maternity leave for a few weeks or so, I have begged some of the bloggers that I stalk most admire to contribute guest posts to this space so it won't be lonely. The posts are so awesome that I am afraid you won't want me back.

The goal of these guests posts is to bring new and different insights to this space. Viewpoints that I am unfamiliar with, advice from those who have been where I have not been, and ideas that might seem foreign to myself and my readers but are important to consider.

Today's guest blogger is Texan Mama from Who Put Me In Charge Of These People. I met Gretchen in 2009 at a DFW blogger meetup at the Grand Lux in Dallas. I am especially excited to have her guest posting because I greatly admire her honesty and ability to describe exactly how she feels about things, even when she takes flak for it. Way to go, Texan Mama!

~~~~~
I've heard snippets here and there online about people being closed-minded or narrow-minded.

What, exactly, does that mean?

Does being closed minded mean that a person is not open to other views as being right, that only their own point of view could be the possible answer to a question or solution to a problem?

Does being narrow minded mean that someone rejects anyone who does not conform to their definition of "right" or "moral" or "appropriate"?

Uh-oh.

Do you think smoking is wrong? If you do, does that make you closed-minded? Even though it has been proven that smoking is hazardous to a person's health, don't they have the right to do whatever they want to with their own body?

What do you think about people who curse around young children? Would that be considered inappropriate? And if so, who exactly put that standard in place?

These are just a couple of examples, but here's my point: it's really popular nowadays for folks to stand up and say, "I hate people who can't be open minded." But wait, by hating someone who has different views than you... aren't you being closed-mided to THOSE people? This is especially true for a lot of hot-button societal issues.

Like, for example, people who dress their dogs in costumes. I mean REALLY what is WRONG with those people???

No, seriously, think about it: I'm not targeting YOU per se, dear blog reader. I'm just saying, it gets really easy to fling rotten fruit at people we don't like, all in the name of standing up for what we believe in. But if what we believe in is acceptance of everyone equally, that includes people who don't agree with the rotten-fruit-flinger.

Just a thought.