On conventional and natural ear fluid treatment

A few months ago, I began to suspect that my 3 year old son, Little Sir, might have some hearing issues. It wasn't his language development, that was on target or ahead, but he just seemed to be missing a lot of things I said to him in a normal tone.

Another odd coincidence: every time since he was 1 year old when he'd had the standard hearing-machine tests at the pediatrician, the machine "hadn't been able to get a reading" due to "fluid in the ears". Never an infection -- he hasn't had an ear infection since he was 16 months old -- but always "some fluid in the way".

Our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) specialist that practiced at a private hospital. Pricey, for someone as under-insured as we are. At this ENT, they did auditory testing with a machine and by playing sounds for him in headphones and allowing him to respond by throwing blocks into a bucket. He thought that was a pretty fun game! The results of these tests: significant hearing loss. He actually could not hear anything at a conversation level. They bypassed the ear drum and testing the capacity of the actual sound conducting parts of his head (?) and he does have the capacity to hear, the fluid was just keeping the ear drums from vibrating at all. This ENT suggested both ear tubes and removal of adenoid fluid. When we got the estimated cost of surgery from this private pediatric facility, we nearly had a heart attack.

We decided to get a second opinion, and while we were waiting for the second appointment, try holistic and chiropractic methods to help reduce the fluid in his ears. Some things we did to help alleviate the fluid between appointments:

1. pediatric chiropractic adjustment of the spine (twice)
2. specific adjustment of the ears themselves, both by the doctor and then she showed us how to do it at home
3. essential oil blend (thyme, lavender, melaleuca) targeted to prevent ear infections, applied behind the ear

Despite these treatments, when we went to the second ENT appointment and all the auditory and throwing-blocks tests were re-done, he came back with the exact same hearing loss and the exact same recommended treatment: ear tubes and possible removal of adenoid tissue.

At the first diagnosis, I was not enthusiastic about putting Little Sir under anesthesia. All the work we do to reduce our childrens' exposure to toxins, and we were just going to fill him up with crazy sedatives! Still, after inquiring among the "green" blogger community, I could find no alternative treatments that we had not already tried. In fact, I found several "green" bloggers who attested to having tubes in their own ears as children (I did, too) and having tubes put in their childrens' ears with great improvement.

In the end, we went with the conventional treatment. We are OK with taking some unconventional or alternative routes but, in the end, his hearing is not something we were willing to risk. He had the surgery this Tuesday and is doing great. He says that he can hear much better. 

Has anyone else faced this decision with their children? Did you go with conventional or alternative treatment?

Merry guilt-free Christmas!

We were excited to have a white Christmas this year, and so many things to be thankful for!

We celebrated here at our house with our family of four plus my brother-in-law, Garrett. For pictures and info about what we do as a family, you can always check out my family blog, which I am terrible at updating.

We had a great day full of presents and food, and while we spent very little money and chose the childrens' gifts conscientiously, there are a few that were plastic, and therefore not terribly "green". The majority of my son's gifts were actually secondhand, if that helps any. I'd rather not expose myself to green blogger criticism by going into detail about what we gave them, but be aware that we chose even those toys conscientiously because we felt that the experience outweighed the risks.

I don't have a beautiful picture of our entire family together wearing matching anything near a tree because I was unable to corral my children long enough to get anything like that, and honestly, they spent most of the time arguing and fighting (keepin' it real, here). Instead, I have this delicious picture of  the (vegan, soy-free) birthday cake they decorated for Jesus. Obviously, artificial colors were used in the toppings but no trans fats, dairy, or soy.

I hope that each of you had a wonderful, delicious, and guilt-free holiday! I'd love to hear your not-so-green confession in the comments.

I'll be back later this week to review the success or failure of my To Do List from 2012 and explore my new To Do List for 2013!

Taking our backyard back from the chickens

When we got our backyard chickens, we had rosy dreams of chickens roaming freely and happily throughout our large backyard just the way nature intended and the way that factory farmed chickens are never allowed to live.

Then we got the actual chickens and the amount of poop kind of blew me away. I mean, two chickens -- how much could they poop? And surely they'd mostly poop in the grass, right? The answer to those two questions is: an astronomical amount, and NO.

Those dang things poop aggressively anywhere they can squeeze their fluffy bodies into. Inside the garage in the 5 minutes that the door is open before I back the car out. On top of our picnic table. Directly on top of the back door mat so you step into it as you exit the house. And how they hide the poop in the garage when they manage to get in there so that I step in it on my way to the washer and dryer. NOT COOL, CHICKENS.

We thought we had it under control with our dogged dedication to handwashing and by purchasing backyard-only Crocs that were always taken off at the door to the house so that if anyone stepped in poop it never made it inside the house. We covered every dropping with loose sand from the sandbox and swept it away when it dried. We bought a power-washer for the concrete.

Despite one of my previous commenters' disparaging remarks, I really do not think it was unreasonable for us to assume that two chickens in 1/8 of an acre in full sunlight was a natural breeding ground for all kinds disease. In agrarian societies, humans and animals co-existed for centuries and still do on operating farms today.

Nevertheless, I think it was the sippy cups that really did us in. I like to make sure my kids are well hydrated so I let them carry their sippy cups with them wherever they are playing. Which, unfortunately, included outside. It never occurred to me that they might have been dropping those cups in infected areas and then touching them with their mouths and hands. Even after washing their hands, re-touching those cups again later might have been the cause of what happened: salmonella.

At least, we think it was salmonella. It was 2 weeks of diarrhea with no other symptoms for both kids. When we took Little Sir to the doctor (he was the first to exhibit symptoms), she mentioned that it looked a lot like salmonella but that since he hadn't been touching frogs or turtles, that couldn't be it. Then, either she or someone else casually mentioned chickens later...and I started putting it all together.

My first thought, of course, was to cook those chickens for making my babies sick. But I am a vegetarian and ethical slaughter would probably be expensive and time consuming.

Instead, we locked those chickens up in their coop and power-washed the entire back yard and some of the garage floor. SO MUCH POOP. The chickens were indignant and loud about it. I told them that they were lucky that they were not in a soup already.

This weekend, Christian built a little chicken run around their coop with some chicken wire.



I love it!

Another thing I love, unrelated to this post, is my new screen door for the backyard.



The weather is just now getting cool here in the Dallas area and the kids have been enjoying playing outside in their now-poop-free environment. The screen door makes it perfect because I can even work on dinner with the door wide open to hear them and the bugs won't get in. Both of them have even learned to open and close the door themselves! Big kids!

And that is the story of how we reclaimed our back yard from the chickens.

7 Quick Takes Friday #45

--- 1 ---

Haven't done one of these in a while! My first random thing is: we have been taking Little Sir to the chiropractor to investigate some tummy issues he is having that might explain why he still won't poop on the potty after being pee potty trained for around 6 months. Also, we are about to get kicked out of preschool if he can't learn.

The chiropractor has pinpointed that he seems to have a sensitivity to soy -- all soy, including soy lecithin (which is in everything) and soybean oil when used in a food. We also think he might be having trouble processing cow's milk. He's not lactose intolerant, but cow's milk and cow's milk products, especially cheese, seem to really make his tummy react. So we are going to try to go soy and dairy free for 2 weeks. This is way more difficult than I thought with him being in some kind of childcare or preschool for at least an hour up to 4 times a week. He has already been fed Goldfish (cheese) twice at church.

--- 2 ---

To try to solve this issue, yesterday we took a trip to the craft store and made this Pinterest inspired allergy bracelet for him to wear.

--- 3---

Speaking of things that Pinterest made me do, we also made these fun owl rolls last night!

I used Immaculate Baking crescent rolls which are soy and dairy free, and used soy-free dairy-free Enjoy Life chocolate chips for eyes and raw cashew halves for the beak.

--- 4 ---

Do you have any idea how many things contain some form of soy? This is disturbing considering that most soy is a GMO.

--- 5 ---

I could do a whole All The Drama On The Internets about how people suspect that Whole Foods is wavering in their support of Proposition 37 in California (a bill to label GMO's), even though their latest newsletter seems to indicate otherwise. I do hope they stand firm, since there is literally no viable alternative for me to find this depth of soy-free dairy-free products outside of Whole Foods. I can't really boycott them right now, guys. Sorry.

--- 6 ---

Another note regarding advocacy: there are a ton of great petitions and green actions going on right now within members of The Green Sisterhood, but I don't publicize them all on this blog. I know a lot of my readers are just beginning on your green journey and I am not going ask you to sign a petition protesting something every day. However, I would highly encourage you to visit the Green Sisterhood web site or Facebook page to get more in-depth information that I often provide on this blog. Also, if you ever think I'm a little overboard with my "green" lifestyle, check out those ladies -- they're way more green than me!

--- 7 ---

I got a massage at Massage Envy yesterday and found out just how much my shoulders are jacked up. Whee! All those wheelbarrow and other Pilates moves that put all the body weight on the shoulders and neck have done some serious damage, moreso even than during my pregnancies when I worked 10 hour shifts at the computer. Moral of this story: make sure you keep your shoulders away from your ears when doing Pilates, folks.

~~~
Well that's all for this week, be sure to visit Conversion Diary for links to more 7 Quick Takes Fridays.

The Dilemma of Gender Neutral Parenting

Gender neutral toys?

We didn't find out the gender of either of our children because it didn't matter to us which gender they were when they were born. I decorated our first child's room in a gender-neutral palette, and the second child got the exact same crib and decorations because they had to share a room (when she wasn't sleeping with us) until she was around 9 months old.

For years, we'd read about gender neutral parenting. You might have heard about the Canadian couple who will not tell anyone the gender of their child in order to avoid gender stereotyping. That's probably going a little far, in our opinion, but the avoidance of gender stereotyping did sound like a good idea. Moreso after my friend Ashley came out as transgender and I started thinking about how to foster in my children a knowledge of themselves. But as I've traveled this road of parenting, I am realizing it is more and more impossible to be completely neutral. For one thing, there are simply no affordable clothing options in gender neutral colors or designs after the age of 3 months. It was actually quite a challenge to find gender neutral newborn clothes when we were preparing for the births.

Both my children play with cars and trucks, because that is what my son was given as gifts in the past few years. My daughter has been given some baby dolls, but overall she shows little interest with them except to cuddle them - she cuddles everything, whether it's dolls or blankets or stuffed animals. At 18 months, I've never seen her try to feed them, diaper them, rock them, or push them in a stroller. Of course, I guess we'd probably need to have baby doll diapers, a rocking chair, or a baby doll stroller for most of that to happen. None of which we have. She does emulate me by picking up reusable cloth bags, saying "bag!", putting it over her arm, kissing everyone "bye" and "going out". I guess that's what she sees me do when I leave to go out in the evenings or go to work. But that's hardly a female trait.

Since my daughter has so few "girl" type toys, my son doesn't really get to play with many "girl" toys. They both love their play kitchen. He loves to color and paint. Whenever I paint my toenails around him, he always asks to have his painted and I always do. If he asks to wear his sister's hairbows, I let him. He's usually so rough with them that he loses them pretty quickly. Which, incidentally, is exactly what she does with hairbows too.

Overall, we are doing the best we can to be neutral, but it's not what I had envisioned when I was pregnant. To tell the truth, I see other little girls playing with dolls and I feel like my daughter might be missing out. I know I loved combing my dolls' hair and dressing my Barbies when I was a kid, even though I was never a "girly" girl. We actually don't own any sports equipment for my son, but I'm starting to have the same feelings about that as I do about the baby dolls. He actually picks up t-ball bats and balls at the stores and asks to have some, and when he goes over to friends' houses he is very interested in their sports equipment and talks about it afterward.

I like this article from the New York Times last year where the reporter concludes, with the help of Chaz Bono, that gender isn't determined by parenting. I know it's not up to me to determine how my kids are inside, and I guess there's always therapy...still, I obviously want to nurture them in a way that allows them to make choices avoid putting other people into boxes. I don't want either of them assuming that all women stay home and have kids, or that all men work full time in order to make that possible, just because that is how our family currently works. I don't like the fact that somewhere my son picked up the idea that his sister's favorite color must be pink and his must be blue when it used to be orange. I want to keep their hearts open so that ideas of inequality don't creep in.

I'd love to hear from you - how do you discourage gender stereotyping in your children? What do you think about dolls and sports equipment?

Toddler verdict: homemade toothpaste = NO!

In my ongoing quest to be more green, save money, and learn how to make my own stuff, I read Ashleigh's post on making your own toothpaste and thought, "YES!".  I even had all the ingredients in my kitchen already.

My kids are currently 1 year old and 2 years old, and can't brush with toothpaste containing fluoride because they see toothpaste as a snack. They actually ASK for more toothpaste after sucking the paste off the brush. Obviously, I can't allow them to ingest fluoride like that. So I have been shelling out major dinero buying them toddler toothpaste without fluoride that is xylitol-based. If you haven't read the ingredients on your toddlers' fluoride-free toothpaste, please do. If you're buying the cheapest brand, I can almost guarantee that you're allowing them to put high fructose corn syrup or aspartame on their teeth before bed. Why, Colgate, why?!

As far as sweeteners for toothpaste go, xylitol is your best bet because it is actually good for your teeth. However, there are always dyes and other things in the kids' store-bought toothpaste that I don't love.

I made the toothpaste recipe using peppermint essential oil for additional antibacterial properties. I tried it myself and it leaves a wonderful minty clean feeling in the mouth. I felt like I'd just had a teeth cleaning!

I shared it with my husband. He HATED it. To be fair, he hates coconut in all forms: the oil, the smell, the actual nut, the flavor. Everything
. So the fact that it had coconut oil in it at all was a no-go for him.

I shared it with my kids. My 2 year old actually burst into tears and threw a tantrum. My 1 year old would not open her mouth at all. She threw the toothbrush on the ground.

Everyone was crying

So now I have a lovely jar of toothpaste that I enjoy but no one else in the family will touch. We went to the store and bought more toddler xylitol toothpaste, a tube for around $6. It will last about 3 weeks before we have to buy another. Awesome.

I know what it is that my kids want: fruity flavor. They don't like peppermint and they don't like cinnamon. I have been scouring the internets and can't find any recipes for toothpaste that would taste fruity.

What could I use to provide the fruit flavor without artificial chemicals, that also wouldn't have sugar that would build up on their teeth overnight? Ideas, please!

Book: Cleaning House by Kay Wills Wyma

Today's book review also comes with a neat little TV segment interview to give you a better idea of the topic of the book. Kay Wills Wyma actually goes to our church and is one of the teachers at the study I attend during the fall and spring. However, this book isn't a "Christian" book - it's a book about Kay's life and an experiment she did with her kids. This book was not a "how to" or a "what to do". It reads more like a blog than anything... and it is a blog too: The Moat Blog.



Kay realized a few years ago, to her horror, that her kids ages 2-14 years old were really unable to do even some of the most basic things on their own. She started seriously thinking of how our children are affected in the long term when we tend to do things "for" them instead of teaching them how to do those things themselves. We are afraid they'll fail or they won't do it right. Or we rescue them from situations they could have learned from. She has an article in the New York Times this week called Let Them Climb Trees (and Fall).

"Cleaning House" is a book documenting Kay's journey to teach her kids some basic skills and how she watched them grow in confidence and capability, even when they resisted and failed along the away. In the end, the whole family gained a whole new set of skills and a whole new "can do" outlook on life.

I loved that this book made me laugh, sympathize, and keep reading! In fact, I had a book club book I was "supposed" to be reading at the same time but I kept putting it down to read this book instead! It's a highly readable and relatable book. I plan to hang on to my copy and refer to it often over the years to help remind me to teach my kids to learn and fail on their own. I am already practicing this on the playground with my 2.5 and 1 year old, as I let them climb and play on their own. I've actually already done this most of their lives, so that when they fall sometimes now, they are able to brush themselves off and keep going, for the most part. There's a bonus to letting your kids do more on their own, too - if they're still napping, they seem to take better naps after a good independent playing session!

I'd love to hear if you've read this book and loved it as much as I did or if you plan to read it too!




NOTE: I did receive a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this review, but all opinions are my own. If I didn't like it, I promise I would tell you.

Living consciously: comparison

I've been thinking a lot about comparison lately. I was listening to a great podcast about mothering, when the speaker threw out this quote (I've heard it several times but can't remember who said it originally):

Comparison is the thief of joy

Wow, that is so true, at least in my life.

I struggle with comparison every time I hear about the mommy wars, and the TIME magazine cover from a few weeks ago really brought this to the forefront for me. It kept bringing me back to a place of comparison with moms who are "greener" and more "natural". I belong to a Yahoo group and a few closed Facebook groups of other "green" and "eco" ladies, who are wonderful resources when I have questions. I appreciate their knowledge and patience with my questions. I have learned so much from them.

But I also have to check my involvement with any group like this because I can easily start off on a mental trail, "Oh no, I'm not doing enough of this! I do too much of that!" Or "My kids eat this/use this/go to the potty/don't go to the potty/sleep/don't sleep...and that means I'm a bad mother". I'm sure if you're a career person, you can easily go there with your career or even your marriage.

If you will permit me to be a little spiritual here, this tendency I have to compare myself and then try to "perform" perfectly has only been calmed in the last 10 years by faith. When I was a teenager, I tried to be the perfect "Christian" and failed miserably. I had a few big wipe-outs, and there was no one around to show me grace. I compared myself to other "Christians" and found myself way, way behind. Sure, I wasn't any Hitler, but I wasn't as good as the people around me either. Looking back, I can see that's where comparison gets you: a weird place where you can't tell if what you're doing is good or bad but you feel 100% responsible for the outcome.

I know a lot of parents feel completely lost in parenting that way. Here we are, responsible for the outcome of actual little peoples' lives, and we have no instructions or directions except what we hear from "experts" who claim to have all the answers, even though they don't know your child personally. In addition, you can find an "expert" who says one thing and simultaneously find another who says exactly the opposite. Who do you even believe? You will never please everyone.

I think what I was reminded of this past Sunday at church was that I am free from the power that comparison used to have over my life. It's true that I don't measure up, and I never will. I do not have the strength or ability to do all of these things right. Fortunately, I'm not going to be judged based on what I do. God loves me enough to have already provided perfectly for me. When He looks at my life, He sees what Jesus already did, not what I do. I told Him once that I accepted this provision, and that was it. I never have to strive for acceptance again, I never have to wonder if I am "good enough". And because I don't have to try so hard to measure up, I am free to pursue a relationship with Him where I simply listen to Him, ask for His help, and then react to what He tells me. Completely free of comparison or obligation. He even provides the strength and the ability when I don't have it. This is the kind of faith that I have, and I am so thankful for it.

As I was reflecting on why I felt no need to read that TIME article, or why it is that sometimes I just click away from my Facebook and Yahoo groups for a while, I realized that it's because I don't need those articles or even my online friends to tell me what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. There is only one Person that I answer to, and I need to be listening to Him. He actually does use my online (and offline) friends to help guide me, and that is a blessing! But I don't have to try to do what everyone else says. I am free from all that.

Now, someone please remind me of that the next time I freak out about how I should probably be making homemade goldfish crackers, because the ones in the store are full of artificial colors that are probably not so healthy....

7 Quick Takes Friday #41

--- 1 ---

I have tried like heck to ignore the whole TIME magazine cover story issue, but the dang thing keeps coming up. I still refused to get involved in it, but I do want to point you to this awesome interview with the Attachment Parenting (AP) moms from the TIME story on KellyMom. In this post, they go really in-depth about how they feel about the whole thing and the reality of AP for them and their families.

--- 2 ---

In case you are wondering, no, my husband and I do not necessarily identify ourselves with AP and all it entails. We do agree with the spirit of the Eight Principles, but not always the exact tenets. That's why I like to identify us as "natural parenting". Just like the FDA has no regulation on the term "natural" when it comes to food, there isn't any specific outline for "natural parenting". To us, it means that we are making decisions about parenting in the way that comes most naturally to us and how it works with the God-given nature of our children's personalities. The approach is based on respect for our children, truth and love based on God's love for us, and what is realistic in our current life stage and physical environment. Also, if I have said it once, I have said it 100 times: every child is different. Including my two children.

--- 3---

Now that we're talking about kids, how is potty training going? Pretty well! So far, he has about 1 accident per day, but that is usually because I didn't take him to the potty frequently enough or because he was scared of the potty that was available. He has an aversion to any potty except his green Ikea potty here at home. But! He was able to go to the potty at school this week (his last week of Mother's Day Out!), and didn't have a single accident while he was there! Yay!

--- 4 ---

I shared this yesterday on Twitter, but I highly recommend that everyone see this excellent video about antibiotics in meat production and why it should be avoided.

--- 5 ---

We will be traveling with both the kids in the near future, in the car, for more than 4 hours. I think I have a good handle on what I can bring to keep Little Sir occupied, but I'm really struggling with what I can do for Little Lady. She is 15 months and puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. I can't let her color or use markers. She is not so great at watching TV, plus she is still facing backwards in her car seat so she can't see the iPad that Little Sir would be watching (dang you, stupid AAP guidelines, you have totally hosed us with Kid #2). Any ideas from readers who have done this recently?

--- 6 ---

I am way overdue for a garden update. But I am really tired right now and it is already getting really hot here in Dallas. Here is a hastily taken picture:



Not pictured: a new soaker hose I have bought because the one that came with the raised beds is terribly ineffective.

--- 7 ---

If you are wondering about the chickens, they are doing well. They produce better eggs when I give them green scraps. I spend a lot of time chasing them and cleaning their poop. Chicken poop is a huge pain in the butt. Think about that before you go getting backyard chickens!

~~~

Well that's all for this week, be sure to visit Conversion Diary for links to more 7 Quick Takes Fridays.

Potty training and cloth diapers

I've been making a huge effort in the last week not to cover my blog in potty learning updates as we've been working with Little Sir to use the potty. However, if you follow me on Twitter you have definitely be inundated by updates. Sorry about that.



I'll be doing a more in-depth outline of our methodology later - both on this blog and on the CottonBabies blog. Suffice it to say that we are not following any program exactly, it's something we have kind of made up as we go along to fit Little Sir's preferences and our family. I am sure it's a very AP-type tactic - go with your heart, blah blah blah. And I'm sure we'll use completely different methodology when we start Little Lady on potty learning.

I do have one quick thing to say about potty training and cloth diapers. I was told back in the pre-baby days, as I researched cloth diapers, that cloth would help my child potty train earlier and easier because he or she can feel wetness when wearing cloth diapers. The logic is that the child isn't going to like being wet and will therefore be more likely to want to learn to use the potty and less likely to have accidents in their underwear.

Unfortunately, the feeling-the-wetness aspect of cloth diapers kind of backfired on us.

It's true that Little Sir could tell when he was wet. One of the ways I knew he was ready to use the potty is that he was starting to come to me and ask for diaper changes:
Him: "Need a diaper change!"
Me: "Do you have poop?"
Him: "No, just pee"

When we started the first potty-training day, he refused to go naked as most programs suggested. He insisted on wearing something on his lower half, and he was very enthusiastic about his "racecar underwear" which he had picked out at the store. This is where the wetness aspect didn't help us.

Instead of being shocked and uncomfortable when he peed in the underwear, it was normal for him. He was accustomed to feeling wet! No biggie. Why would I stop playing and go sit on the potty when I always feel wet when I pee? Gah. We had to explain to him over and over that wet underwear is NOT OK. What we want is to have dry underwear. He was clearly seeing underwear as just another form of cloth diaper, because even when it was dry he wanted a new pair after going to the potty. He just saw it as a cloth diaper change. Awesome.

Most likely, this is not the norm. I know by now that Little Sir tends to be the exception and not the rule. Most kids will accept being naked. Most kids will not enjoy being wet. He is just never like "most kids".

The good news is, he's really doing well so far. He understood after about a day that dry underwear is preferable (also there were bribes involved). He goes in the potty several times a day and has only a few accidents.

We're having a lot of trouble with going in unfamiliar pottys when we're out, though, so if you have any advice there - I'm all ears!

Project Mom 2012 - my recap

Do you remember where I said I would be this weekend? That's right, Project Mom 2012 in Dallas! The conference began on Friday night, although I did not attend until Saturday. On Friday night, most of what I missed was a demonstration by The Crockin' Girls of some of their amazing crockpot recipes from their new book The Crockin' Girls Slow Cookin' Companion: Yummy Recipes From Family, Friends, and Our Crockin' Community, which was available for purchase at the conference even though it's not officially available in stores yet!

I arrived at the conference in Allen, Texas a little before 9am. Everybody got these fun Vera Bradley reusable bags full of coupons and such.



The first session contained a few speakers to encourage us as moms. Here I am with my fellow Dallas Moms Blog contributors, getting ready for the conference to begin!

Project Mom 2012 - I look way too excited

Then we broke out into smaller sessions. My first session was "Parenting Your Preschooler" by Lynley Phillips, who is also a local Dallas blogger. I failed to get a picture of this session, but it was a nice overview of respectful parenting. I was encouraged to note that I actually do most of the things she suggested to be good practices for parenting preschoolers. Maybe these tactics will start actually working one day??

We took a break for lunch and the next session was "Picture Perfect Photography". We were a little late for this one, so I missed the speaker's introduction, but she was a professional photographer. She gave some good tips on using the "rule of 3's" to plot your photos before you take them, and some simple lighting tips as well. I liked this session because she gave tips that could be implemented with any camera, not just a fancy DSLR.

Then there was a quick break, which I kind of overestimated. There were a ton of vendors set up in the hallways throughout the conference. Baby clothing, purses, makeup, home organization tools, even a bra fitting lady! I was very tempted to purchase one particular item. I had a quick conversation with the shop owner and hope to try and feature this fun item on my blog some time very soon!

The Dallas Moms Blog crew in the vendor area at Project Mom 2012

My last session was "Meal Planning". You know that I've had several different versions of meal planning in the past, and I still use a little bit of my own system in addition to the iPhone/online app Food On The Table. This session was maybe a little vague - more of an overview of meal planning, rather than practical tips. One main point that I appreciated: your meals don't have to look like another family's meals. Mine definitely don't! My take-away from this session was a hand-out they gave each of us, a list of five meals we could write down that were family favorites and quick to prepare. The idea is to have ingredients for those five meals on hand at all times. It's a great strategy for preventing last-minute fast-food binges!

The closing session was possibly my favorite part. The first was an interview with Katie Hamilton, wife of Texas Rangers baseball player Josh Hamilton. I do not follow sports in any way, so I had no idea who he was or who she was, but she was very nice and engaging and funny, and I always appreciate hearing from other moms. She shared some of their day-to-day schedule challenges and how their family is flexible to deal with it all. I love to see inside someone else's life, it always gives me good ideas for my own family.



The final speaker was Kat Lee of InspiredToAction.com. Again, someone I had not heard of but was blessed to hear. I wish I could write all the things she told us about being a Purposeful mother. I do have the main points from the handout: 1) know your value, 2) know your plan, and 3) press on! I tweeted one point that I particularly loved:

Kat's closing comments were summarized much more eloquently by The T-Shirt Mama in her Project Mom recap (a fellow DallasMomsBlog.org contributor!).

All in all, it was a good little getaway with some great reminders for any mom. If you get a chance, I'd love to see you there again next year!

This weekend: Project Mom in Dallas!

This weekend, I'll be heading up highway 75 a few miles to attend the Project Mom conference in the Dallas area with some fellow bloggers from Dallas Moms Blog! I hadn't heard about the conference before this opportunity presented itself, but since registering I actually saw several of my Twitter friends/followers mention the conference. Apparently, it's really a big deal!

Project Mom is an organization that provides valuable resources and enjoyable events for moms of all ages and stages. Project Mom events include one-day get-togethers and weekend-long getaways for moms who want to be inspired and rejuvenated while relishing some much-needed "me" time. 

Here are some quick summaries of the sessions I think I'm attending... I say "I think" because I can't remember now what I actually registered for, but I assume these are probably the ones I would have been interested in!

Organize It! It can be overwhelming to keep your house in order with kids in tow. But if you’re armed with a plan, getting (and staying!) organized can be a very simple task. Whether you need to transform your entire home or just want some tips on how to get that junk drawer under control, this session can help you get it all together!  

Picture-Perfect Photography Do you wish you had better pictures of those cute kids of yours? Or maybe you have a quality camera but haven’t quite figured out how to snap away with style. This session is for the mom who is a beginning photographer and wants to brush up those skills in a flash! You’ll leave with practical tips on how to use your camera, how to utilize lighting, and how to easily edit your images. If you’d like, you can even bring your camera along! 

Meal Planning: Recipes for Success Join this popular session to learn meal-making strategies that the whole gang will devour! Recent studies show that family meals are one of the most vital routines to establish in a child’s upbringing. Planning ahead for this important meal each day will save time, money, and frustration. Not to mention that your family will have healthy, balanced, delicious meals that will have them begging for seconds! 

Parenting Your Preschoolers Raising a toddler or a preschooler can be very challenging, to say the least! Our experts will show you how to set healthy boundaries, overcome temper tantrums, and use creative discipline. Take away tips on how to parent your preschooler while nurturing their natural talents and abilities … and maintaining your sanity! 

Making the Most of Mom Need a refresher on how to look and feel your best? Instead of having that tired, worn-out look, reclaim your beauty, health, and wellness! During this session, you’ll score a bunch of tips, such as how to relieve stress, how to make the most out of the wardrobe that’s already in your closet, and how to implement a fitness and nutrition regimen.

Will you be joining me at Project Mom next weekend? It's not too late to register!

Onions for the duck: a natural remedy #FAIL

Earlier today, my friend Rebecca pointed me toward an awesome natural remedy site, EarthClinic.com, where you can look up natural and folk remedies for all kinds of ailments and situations!

Right now, Little Sir is doing a lot of coughing. I had actually been able to keep them from getting sick using Thieves' Oil for a long time but it turned out that I wasn't diluting it enough and the topical application gave both kids diarrhea! Ack! So we have had to stop using it the last 5 days or so. As soon as we stopped using it, both kids got coughs. No other symptoms, really, but coughs at night and during naps. We're doing the usual humidifier, Vicks Vaporub on the feet and chest, and my trusty elderberry syrup. But I'm always open to new things!

I looked "cough" up on Earth Clinic and found the following recommendations.

Spray apple cider vinegar on pillow.
Did this on Little Sir's pillow before nap. As he was lying there before falling asleep, I did notice he coughed a lot less. However, after about an hour, the coughing came back. I'd probably try it again, since the falling-asleep time is critical. Unfortunately, this only works if the child will lie down on the pillow. Mine has to be forced to do this. I have to sit in the room with him and force him to lie down for 20-30 minutes before he will fall asleep.

Chopped onion - several ways to use.

#1 - Treated with sugar and set out for the juices to extract, then take the juice orally.
Trying this right now. You're supposed to set the onion out overnight. Mine's been out 3 hours and I already see the juice coming out. I'm going to try and give this to Little Sir right before bed.

#2 - Set a cut-up raw onion next to the bed
When Little Sir started coughing again, I cut up another onion and went in to set it by his bed. HE WOKE UP. Huge fail.

#3 - Eat raw onion
Well, he was awake by that point and pointing at the "apple" next to his humidifier. He was very concerned that the duck (humidifier) needed to eat this apple:

When I explained the "apple" was for him to eat, he found that laughable and refused.
So much for that one, too.

Did any of the remedies work?
Meh, maybe? I'll probably try the apple cider vinegar spray tonight, and I'm going to feed him some of that onion juice even though it's very similar to the natural cough syrup recipe I made in the past.

Probably the best approach was preventing illness altogether with Thieves' Oil. I know it kept me from getting sick as well. The effectiveness of Thieves' Oil can also be increased by using Peppermint Oil. If you are interested in ordering either, please see my Young Living online store or contact me directly at jenny [at] conscientiousconfusion [dot] com.

Bringing a baby to BlogHer

It's that time again -- the last days of Early Bird Pricing for BlogHer 2012. I'm hoping to attend as a volunteer, but I haven't heard yet. I know that a lot of my fellow bloggers and readers are trying to decide as well. If you are pregnant right now or have just had a baby, you might be wondering whether it's a good idea to bring your baby to the BlogHer conference in New York City in 2012. Last year I brought my 6 month old baby to BlogHer 2011 in San Diego. I traveled alone by plane from Dallas, Texas to San Diego, California with my baby and our luggage. I'm here to tell you about my experience and hopefully give you some things to consider if you are considering bringing your baby to BlogHer this year.

How was the flight and transfer to the hotel? 
It was a little brutal, I'm not going to lie. But when is traveling a baby ever as enjoyable as traveling alone? If you're flying, consider whether it would be worthwhile to bring a spouse, partner, or friend with you to the conference to help with the travel aspect of the trip. Even if you pack lightly for the trip, you might have as much as an entire extra piece of luggage just for swag on the way home. I also recommend bringing your baby's car seat on the plane so that you can attach the car seat to the taxi for the ride from the airport to the hotel. I brought our infant car seat and a lightweight stroller that attached to it.

Here's what it looked like in the airports: I wore the baby in my Ergo. I assembled the empty infant car seat into its attached stroller stand and used the empty stroller/car seat to hold my carry-on luggage. My main piece of luggage was a giant roller suitcase. So I was pushing the stroller and pulling my main luggage piece.

How did you feed the baby at the conference?
I was still breastfeeding, so I fed her anywhere and everywhere. I did use the Lactation Lounge at the conference space but I also just nursed right in the sessions without covering up. At one point, Little Lady got a bit rowdy and I had to remove her from a session. I sat on the floor outside the conference
room and nursed her. Everyone who walked by either encouraged us or didn't even bat an eye that I was sitting on the floor with my boob out.

If you are breastfeeding: you must be comfortable nursing in public. The Lactation Lounge is rarely
completely empty and you won't have time to go up to your room every 3 hours or so. If you are a person who needs to be completely alone in a room to nurse, bringing a baby to BlogHer might not be for you.

If you bottle feed: you might need to be prepared to defend your decision. Formula feeding isn't exactly embraced in this environment. Little Lady was only getting one small bottle of formula as a supplement to take her medicine at night, but I was too scared to ever whip out that evil powder anywhere but the safety of our hotel room. I leave this up to your discretion, but please know that I have warned you that you might experience some pushback for formula feeding.

A mic wrangler wearing a baby

Did you attend the parties?
 A few, but not many. I am a big nerd and I attend the conference to actually go to sessions and listen to the speakers. Many attendees go only to attend parties and socialize. There is nothing wrong with that, but if you are going to attend parties and socialize, you might have some challenges bringing your baby. Some of the parties are baby-friendly (I went to one sponsored by Eden's Fantasy in a hotel room that was a lot of fun and perfectly baby-friendly), but others are definitely not (i.e., very loud music and not much space). It might be difficult for you to tell ahead of time which you'll be able to attend. You don't want to be looking forward to a party only to realize last-minute that you'll have to cancel. That would also be a little unfair to the other attendees since most parties have long waitlists and other bloggers have been denied access due to size limitations.

I can almost assure you that the BlogHer-sponsored parties that occur right at the end of the conference day both days are baby-safe, and they don't go too late into the night because there are other parties starting after them. Plus, these end-of-day parties have free food! You'd almost definitely be safe going to those with your baby.

How did other attendees feel about the presence of a baby?
I cannot imagine a more baby-friendly conference than BlogHer. If your baby gets loud in a session, nobody even bats an eye. The only reason I left one of the sessions was because I was critical of the amount of noise I was making -- no one around me even cared. Several times when she got a little vocal during sessions, I had women who were complete strangers offer to take her and walk around the room. One time I actually did accept the offer, since my job was to be live-tweeting the session and the baby was causing issues for me doing my job. I exchanged several really sweet emails with the kind lady who helped me out after the conference ended.

The baby is also a great way to start conversations, since most bloggers have left children of their own at home or just enjoy seeing a cute, friendly baby. I was much more likely to start a conversation with strangers when I had my baby with me than I did the year before when I didn't.

Tips based on my personal experience:

Little Lady napping at BlogHer
with her sound machine giraffe

• Babies who aren't active yet are the best age. My baby was right under 6 months, which was probably the maximum age I would bring either of my children into sessions, because they have both been extremely active after 6 months and refuse to sit still unless they are asleep. I understand that most kids are OK sitting still at older ages, and every child is different. If you've got an active (moving/crawling/walking) baby or toddler, there is on-site childcare that might be worth looking into so that you can actually attend sessions without the distraction of chasing them around.
  


• If your baby sleeps while being worn, GREAT! That is probably the best scenario. I did wear my baby, but she has always hated being worn and won't sleep that way. There were a lot of other bloggers wearing their babies.


• If your baby sleeps best in the infant carrier (car seat), bring a stand for that and use that as your main stroller for the conference. That way, the baby can nap during sessions. The conference area should be handicap accessible, which also means "stroller friendly".


• If your baby loves sounds machines like both of mine have, bringing a portable sound machine is a great idea. I love the Cloud B giraffe (in the picture, right) that attaches to a stroller or car seat. It helped to soothe my baby to sleep in crowded conference areas.


• Realize you may miss some sessions or lunches or other events. Sometimes the little ones just get overwhelmed and need down time in the hotel room. I found it was better to give her some quiet down time rather than push through with a fussy, upset baby and a stressed mama. If you have a sponsor, make sure they know there is a possibility that you might miss a few things and make sure that they are OK with that.


• All the usual tips about flying with a baby: nursing during takeoff/landing, bringing plenty of toys for them. A personal plug for my own products: one of the ladies in my local green living discussion group suggested using Peace and Calming essential oil blend on the babies' feet helps them be more mellow on the plane. I don't know that for sure because I haven't tried it, but I do love that oil blend. I use it on my son at night (he's 2 years old & has trouble calming down for sleep). I would also recommend Lavendar as an alternative.


• Accept help, if you are comfortable doing so. When someone offers to hold the baby while you eat a meal, or help soothe in a session, let them! Of course, this depends on the age of the child and whether you are concerned about germs, etc. My baby was 6 months old, so I wasn't too worried but there were also a few babies less than a month old, which is obviously a different story.


• Have fun! Don't worry about how cute the baby looks or whether the baby is behaving. Make sure he/she is happy and comfortable, and then enjoy the time together!

Overall, I had a great experience. I must add that it was also extremely exhausting. I am really looking forward to BlogHer 2012, if I do indeed get to attend, because I will not have either of my children with me and I won't be pregnant (as I was in 2010). I'm looking forward to having a few drinks and going to more parties this year. If you're going, let me know! Let's meet up!

Have you attended a conference with your baby? Do you have any tips to add?

WAHM to SAHM

As of right now, I'm officially a Stay At Home Mom, not a Work At Home Mom. I have tried to be careful how much I mention about losing my part time social media job. I know I wasn't able to work enough hours to make my employment worth the company's time. It turns out that since my children don't sleep simultaneously more than an hour or so each day/night, and the company wasn't paying me enough to hire a sitter or pay for additional days of Mother's Day Out, I was only able to work around 6-7 hours each week. I'm sure it wasn't worth their administrative costs to retain me. I do feel like I did the best I could while working for them and the parting was not performance related, so that's good.

We definitely miss the income, and haven't figured out how to replace it yet. In another way, I was relieved to have the obligation lifted. It was just another form of Mommy guilt. When I was playing with my kids I'd realize I hadn't checked our clients' Twitter or Facebook all day and I'd have to be on the iPhone checking. The kids would get jealous of the iPhone or the laptop and try to take it from me or throw their bodies in front of it. I'd feel guilty because they were completely justified in their action and I'd rather be playing with them anyway! So I'd play with my kids but feel guilty that I was being a bad employee.

Going from checking multiple social networks and email accounts constantly to just my own personal account has been a little weird. At first I found myself checking my personal accounts just as frequently as I used to check our clients'. Unfortunately, my own personal network can get a little slow (cause, uh, we're all moms!), and oftentimes there was nothing to see when I was refreshing EVERY 10 MINUTES. Then I went through a period where I kind of didn't check anything for a while and got totally out of the loop. Thank goodness I don't have to monitor my Klout anymore, because I am sure it took a hit.

Somehow I also started dropping the ball on other things like making dinner, planning meals, and blogging. I guess my carefully constructed schedule is off. I think what happened is that I started to assume that I would have more time than I actually do, and I wasted those precious extra hours on things that should have been much lower priority. Where do those mysterious hours go, SAHM's?

Do any of you SAHM's have suggestions for me? Would love to hear them!

A Little Bit Of Zen

A few weeks back I had a little epiphany when our pastor spoke at church about how present circumstances do not control our inner peace and joy. Whether you are Christian or not, that makes sense.

I've been trying to keep that in mind regarding the amount of sleep I do (or do not) get. Ultimately, whether I am rested or not, those circumstances don't control me.

I also think about people living every day with medical conditions that cause chronic fatigue, but living life to the fullest, regardless.

All of these thoughts are helping me let go of the desperate desire to sleep as much as possible and become frustrated and resentful of my children when I can't.

As a result, I've been making an effort every morning - with my husband's help with the baby - to grab a few minutes of time in the morning before the toddler wakes up to read a short devotional and do a little yoga sun salutation.

So far I've only been able to do this successfully about 4 times, but I really love it when I can. Here's hoping I can keep up my little moment of morning!

Another Typical Day

Instead of 7 Quick Links Friday, I just had to jump on this neat linky writing prompt from RambleRamble, which I learned about from Jennie at She Likes Purple.

It's just like it sounds... the story of my typical day. I know it's SO exciting, so try to stay awake!

*NOTE: I did not include checking email, blogs, and Twitter in this day. Please go ahead and assume I am doing those things nonstop whenever it is safe to do so, from my iPhone*

~~~

Technically, a day begins at 12:01am so I have to start with my wake-ups with the kids...

1 or 2am: Baby wakes up crying, usually isn't hungry so I go in, move her out of the room she shares with her brother, and put her into the Pack N Play in the office to keep her from waking him up. If I am lucky, she goes back to sleep without eating. If I'm not, I bring her into our bed to nurse.

3 or 4am: Baby wakes again, this time hungry for real. If she's not already in our bed, I bring her in and nurse her. We fall asleep but she starts kicking me in the guts and the head which I try to ignore for a while but eventually she takes over the entire bed, so...

5am: I move the baby back into the Pack N Play in the office. Sometimes I have to change her diaper if that is the cause of the squirming. I try to go back to sleep.

What I SHOULD do is go ahead and take a shower, and sometimes I do if I've managed to sleep through the baby kicking me and it's closer to 6am when I move her. Because if I can get a shower before the toddler wakes up, I am much more likely to be able to fix my hair and do my makeup, and remember deodorant. Seriously, the likelihood that I will forget my deodorant is significantly higher if I am attempting to dress while the toddler is awake and/or watching me.

6:30 or so: Toddler wakes up, starts banging on the door and yelling.

6:45: We realize we have to stop ignoring him and one of us goes to get him. The other one gets to shower (that person WINS).

7ish: We put the toddler in the booster and the baby in the high chair (if the baby is awake) and proceed to alternate between cooking eggs and throwing things at the toddler hoping he will eat them. Also someone feeds the baby some kind of solid food. If I'm the one that didn't get a shower, I frantically eat and clean up the kitchen at the same time because I want to shower before Christian leaves.

7:45 or 8: Toddler goes to drink his milk in front of the TV, the baby crawls around on the floor. Whoever did not get to take a shower earlier takes one now. If it's me, Christian stays with the kids in the living room. If it's him, I go back and forth between the kids and cleaning up the kitchen. Somebody changes the toddler's diaper while he is temporarily immobile in front of the TV.

8:30: Christian leaves for work and I combo feed the baby while the toddler runs around. I throw things in the laundry and pack lunches if we're going somewhere.

9:30 or 10ish: We go somewhere. Anywhere. The goal is to make the toddler as tired as possible. We go to the store, to a playdate, to the play area at the mall, to the mat room at church. When it's not 1 million degrees outside we would go to the park. While we are out, the baby falls asleep and has her morning nap. Or two. I have no idea what her sleep schedule is.

11ish: Wherever we are, I combo feed the baby again. Sometimes while chasing the toddler around somewhere, sometimes in the car.

12ish: We either eat a lunch that I have packed or we come home for lunch. If we are home, I am doing laundry again while we are eating.

12:30-1:00pm: Toddler gets milk again while I clean up lunch and maybe fold some laundry or steal some time on the computer. I secure the baby into the exersaucer or Pack N Play or bring her with us into the crib their room while I read the toddler 2-3 books in the glider with his blankie.

1:00-1:30: I take the baby with me and leave the toddler in his room for a nap. Hopefully the nap will happen. I watch him on the video monitor and when he gets out of his bed, I go back in and put him back.

2:00: If the toddler is going to nap, he should be asleep by now. If he has decided to skip his nap, he is still awake and will not be going to sleep. I combo feed the baby again and try to get her to sleep.

2:30: If the baby is going to nap, she should be asleep by now. She will nap for 30 minutes and then be up. I have 30 minutes to either try and get something done or nap myself.

Unless the toddler has decided not to nap, in which case I will still be going in there every 5 minutes putting him BACK into his bed.

3:00: The baby is up again and if the toddler has decided not to nap today, I let him up also because there is no point in keeping him in there if he isn't going to nap. If he isn't napping today then we play together until 5pm or something. I try to get him to play on his own so I can work on the computer while they play. This works about 50% of the time.

If the toddler IS napping today, the baby plays on the floor and I GET TO WORK! Or get something done like folding laundry or sewing. Whatever I do, I can't leave her direct line of sight or she freaks out and screams so loudly that it wakes the toddler.

3:30: Sometimes I get to talk to Millie on the phone or make phone calls like doctor appointments or medical insurance calls. If no one is napping, the screaming children cut conversation short. If everyone is napping, sometimes I sleep through Millie's call.

4:00: Hopefully, if this is a napping day for the toddler, I can try and get some prep work for dinner started. Because the toddler HATES it when I work in the kitchen. He yells and throws his body between me and the counter the entire time I try to cook, so there is no point in trying to cook while he is awake.

If this was not a napping day, I will not be preparing a meal, I will be falling back on my various pre-prepared options.

5:00-5:30: The toddler wakes up from his nap if he had one, and the kids have dinner.

6:00: The toddler gets milk and more TV, I combo feed the baby. I let her play on the floor or the bouncy while I finish preparing dinner for Christian and I. I can do this because the toddler is distracted by the TV and doesn't realize I am in the kitchen.

6:30 - 7: DADDY IS HOME! I try to have food ready for us to eat while the kids play around us. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. If it does, we eat. If it doesn't, we'll eat after they go to bed.

7:00 - 8:00: Daddy does baths and all the toddler stuff. He brings the toddler into the bath and I bring the baby. They bathe together now, it's really cute. The baby doesn't stay in there long, so I take her out and combo feed her while the boys play in the bathroom for at least 30 more minutes.

8ish: Everybody comes into our bedroom when baths are over and plays for a while. Then the boys go into the kids' room to read stories and I walk around in the dark hallway wearing the baby in the Ergo until she is sleepy or asleep.

8:30-9:30: The kids take turns crying and waking each other up. Christian and I take turns eating (if we hadn't earlier) and going in to put the toddler back to bed every time he gets up.

9:30-11: One would expect the kids to both be asleep, but who the heck knows?! This is our last chance to eat if we didn't get to eat earlier. I usually have to do more work. Christian is usually on the iPad or computer or watching those pundit guys yell at each other on TV. Sometimes we get to hang out together, and that is nice.

11:00pm: The baby wakes up one last time to eat. Why does she do this?! I know she doesn't need it. But whatever. I have to feed her so she won't wake the toddler.

11:30pm: I go to sleep ASAP because I am going to be up again in 2 hours...

~~~

There you go, isn't that the most exciting day ever?

~~~
Other entries in the bloghop:

Work-Life balance might not exist and that's OK

{photo by Hanna Irßlinger Fotografie}

If you are or have been a working parent (even part-time or WAHM), you've probably heard the term "work-life balance" thrown around. It's the concept that someone - most often a parent, more often a woman - can balance their home life and their professional life in a way that everything is taken care of and everyone is happy and fulfilled. Even typing out the definition sounds ludicrous to me, but there are a lot of products and industries built around this concept, and a lot of people who feel like failures when they can't reach this unquantifiable goal.

Yesterday I read an article on Yahoo News Canada titled "Why Supermoms Should Chill" that discussed the following findings:

Trying to have it all could be bad for your mental health, according to a new study that finds that "supermoms" have higher rates of depression compared with working moms who let things slide.

Obviously, it's difficult to know exactly what some of the terms used in this study, such as "supermom" and "letting things slide" truly meant to each participant, and what those terms mean to you or me. I'm pretty sure we'd all define them differently.

Still, the principle rings true with me. Parents are driving themselves to the point of being mentally ill because they feel like they should be doing it all perfectly. Who says I have to do everything perfectly? What is perfect? My friend Jamie wrote a great post about letting your house be messy to have a great playdate last week. I like how she pointed out that, in order to have healthier relationships you sometimes have to allow other things to be seemingly less than perfect.

I think any of us who have more than one child can attest to the fact that our idea of "clean" slips just a little with each baby. And it should, in my opinion!

Because really, we are only human. I mean, I love Pinterest and the Nate Berkus Show as much as the next gal, but I am fully aware that my home is not going to look like this until the kids are gone, or maybe never.

I am OK with that.

Both of my sister-in-laws recently turned 30, and it was a reminder to me of how thankful I am that I didn't start my own family until my 30's. Because in my 20's, I still really believed in this work-life balance thing. I worked for companies who touted their work-life balance flexibility even while my job required more than 40 hours a week and no option to work from home. I read magazines that told me how to do it. I believed whoever is out there telling people that it is attainable.

I'm not sure when I realized the idea of work-life balance is a bunch of crap, but I feel much better now that I've accepted that. Just like the article said! Sure, there are times when I feel "on top of things", and those times are great! But they aren't the norm. There are always going to be maybe one too many urgent to-do's that make me feel badly for letting the kids watch too much TV, or there are going to be those times where I know I didn't do my best for my employer because I chose to spend that time with my family instead.

Knowing that things aren't always going to be perfect and accepting that... now there's something worth striving for. And apparently, accepting "less than perfect" can keep me more mentally balances, so BONUS!

Treating reflux with hazelwood

 You might be familiar with the company Inspired By Finn from their popularity as a leading source of baltic amber teething necklaces, but did you know that they also sell hazelwood necklaces to help deal with reflux?

The idea behind healing necklaces is that the stone (amber) or wood (hazelwood) in a necklace lies against the skin and is warmed by the body, so the essence of the stone or wood is absorbed into the blood stream. Amber contains analgesics that help deal with pain, while hazelwood helps the body become less acidic, helping with reflux and other symptoms of pH imbalance. I have used baltic amber with Little Sir since he was around 6 months old (I think?) and I really do think it helps "take the edge" off teething pain.

I believe I learned about hazelwood in a Facebook series that Inspired by Finn was running on their Facebook page about the healing properties of various gems. Then, through the Natural Parents Network, I heard that some moms use hazelwood necklaces on their kids to help with reflux just like we use baltic amber necklaces for teething. You can read more about hazelwood for reflux on the Inspired By Finn web site.

Safety
Here is the part where I must list a disclaimer: in compliance with the CPSIA regulations, Inspired By Finn is not allowed to recommend that hazelwood necklaces be worn by babies under the age of 3 years old. They did not recommend that I use this necklace on my child, I decided this myself because I have been using amber in this way for almost 2 years. I ordered a teenager's necklace for my daughter. I feel comfortable with her wearing it because she is literally with me 24/7 and I watch her very closely while she wears it.

If you have ever bought amber necklaces from Inspired By Finn, you know that they are made exceptionally well with strong string and knotted between each bead. That way, if the necklace breaks, the beads do not fall off and roll around where a small child could put one in his/her mouth.

It is important to be aware that the hazelwood necklaces are not knotted between beads like the amber necklaces. In addition, the hazelwood necklaces do not have the screw-latch, they use a lobster-claw closure. With a lobster-claw closure, it's very important to have a ring between the beads and the claw, like this:

If the necklace catches on anything, the ring will break and release the necklace, instead of cutting off the child's air supply or breaking the necklace and scattering beads.

When we first got the hazelwood necklace, the ring it came with was so flexible that the necklace fell off regularly. I went to our local craft store and bought a slightly stronger ring that holds securely but will still bend off if it gets caught in anything.

Does it work?
I definitely believe that the amber works! When Little Sir was teething, if we left the necklace off overnight, he would wake up throughout the night with pain. If he had it on, he slept through the night.
With hazelwood... the jury is still out. Little Lady is doing so much better ever since we started giving her rice cereal in her bottle at night! When I came back from BlogHer, I left the hazelwood necklace off for about 24 hours and she had a really rough night. Was it related to not having the hazelwood present? I am not sure. I would recommend trying hazelwood if your little one has reflux and is reacting poorly to medications, like she did. Just make sure to supervise them closely while they are wearing the necklace, and know that Inspired By Finn does not recommend usage for kids under 3.

Here is a cute little model of the necklace (although not 100% accurate since the necklace should be worn INSIDE clothing to touch the skin directly, not on top of clothing, as this picture shows):

*NOTE: I was given a discount on a hazelwood necklace from Inspired By Finn in exchange for this review. I would have bought the necklace without the discount because I trust them and have bought previous amber necklaces from them. The opinions are my own.

Greening your baby

People who formerly feared "being green" often end up asking me how they can become more green when they start to have kids. Something about having kids makes people want to eliminate chemicals and waste from their lives... go figure!

As you know, I currently have two children under the age of two, so this list was put together quickly and off the top of my head. Ask me again in a year and I might have something more comprehensive!

Cloth diapering - Obviously good for the earth but also cost effective, as are many "green" lifestyle changes. In addition, I have never experienced a late-night moment when we've run out of diapers (I actually didn't realize this happens to people until I heard another blogger talk about it). I am not going to go into details on how to cloth diaper in this post, but I've done previous posts on my cloth diapering regime as well as cloth diaper reviews and you can also find me writing for the CottonBabies blog. My #1 recommendation for learning about cloth diapering is Kelly Wells' book "Changing Diapers: The Hip Mom's Guide to Modern Cloth Diapering".


Make your own baby food - when I bought the Beaba Babycook Baby Food Maker it was an investment, but it was definitely worth it. I use it to make purees to hide veggies in food now that Little Sir is a toddler, and I'll use it again when Little Lady starts solids. Making your own babyfood is also cheap, and with an all-in-one appliance like the Babycook, it's super easy.

Washable towels and cloths for everything - Let's face it, paper towels and Kleenex are actually pretty flimsy - you can use a roll or box on just one mess. You can upgrade and also be more "green" by replacing them with washable cloth versions. I did a recent post about getting rid of paper towels by using absorbent washcloths from Ikea. I'd also recommend tons of microfiber cloths for cleaning up spilled milk and scrubbing things - you can buy microfiber cloths at the dollar store! When my son was born, I bought a huge amount of old school cloth diapers that I use for burp cloths and cleaning up all kinds of formula, milk, and runny noses. Little Sir recently learned to "blow snot" into these burp cloths and now whenever he sees a cloth diaper, he tries to blow his nose into it!

Consignment sales/preowned clothing - The "reuse" part of "reduce, reuse, recycle"! Twice a year I go to our local huge consignment sales and stock up on gently used clothing for the kids next season. Recently I also discovered Kid to Kid, which is a franchise of kids consignment stores for in-between consignment sale season. At least half of Little Sir's clothing is pre-owned. As for Little Lady, because we have two nieces who are older than her, and friends who have older girls, I don't think ANYTHING she has is new - it's all hand-me-downs! Which is awesome for me since I am not great at picking out girls' clothing.

Snacks - This is the part where I tell you to do things I am failing at... If you have toddlers, you know that you should NEVER go anywhere without snacks! Instead of using plastic bags and pre-packaged treats, it's always greener (and cheaper) to buy larger boxes of treats or put fruit into reuseable snack bags. I say this, but I own only 2 of these bags, so currently I do use waaay too many pre-packaged snacks.

Cleaning products - Usually when people ask me the "green" question, they are asking about how they can replace their conventional (toxic) cleaning products with more green (kid-safe) versions. When you see your little darling gnawing the floor or the chair leg, you can't help but think whether they might be ingesting some of that chlorine bleach/ammonia cleaner/Lysol you just sprayed on it. There are a lot of greenwashed products out there, but I'd recommend using vinegar, baking soda, Bon Ami, and essential oils like tea tree and Thieves Oil to replace conventional cleaners. Young Living also makes an entire line of Thieves Oil household cleaners.

Avoid phthalates - If you read my blog much, you might know that this is one of my pet peeves. Phthalates are used in making plastics and also in body care and makeup products. Phthalates are endocrine disruptors and can cause hormonal imbalances in young children and infertility in adults. Unfortunately, manufacturers are not required to specify if they use phthalates in their products. In plastics, avoiding anything using PVC can help reduce phthalate exposure. In personal care products, most often the ingredients list only "fragrance". Make sure that the products you buy are either unscented or use only essential oils for scent.

Those are my quick tips for going green for your new baby!
Do you have anything to add?

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