On conventional and natural ear fluid treatment

A few months ago, I began to suspect that my 3 year old son, Little Sir, might have some hearing issues. It wasn't his language development, that was on target or ahead, but he just seemed to be missing a lot of things I said to him in a normal tone.

Another odd coincidence: every time since he was 1 year old when he'd had the standard hearing-machine tests at the pediatrician, the machine "hadn't been able to get a reading" due to "fluid in the ears". Never an infection -- he hasn't had an ear infection since he was 16 months old -- but always "some fluid in the way".

Our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) specialist that practiced at a private hospital. Pricey, for someone as under-insured as we are. At this ENT, they did auditory testing with a machine and by playing sounds for him in headphones and allowing him to respond by throwing blocks into a bucket. He thought that was a pretty fun game! The results of these tests: significant hearing loss. He actually could not hear anything at a conversation level. They bypassed the ear drum and testing the capacity of the actual sound conducting parts of his head (?) and he does have the capacity to hear, the fluid was just keeping the ear drums from vibrating at all. This ENT suggested both ear tubes and removal of adenoid fluid. When we got the estimated cost of surgery from this private pediatric facility, we nearly had a heart attack.

We decided to get a second opinion, and while we were waiting for the second appointment, try holistic and chiropractic methods to help reduce the fluid in his ears. Some things we did to help alleviate the fluid between appointments:

1. pediatric chiropractic adjustment of the spine (twice)
2. specific adjustment of the ears themselves, both by the doctor and then she showed us how to do it at home
3. essential oil blend (thyme, lavender, melaleuca) targeted to prevent ear infections, applied behind the ear

Despite these treatments, when we went to the second ENT appointment and all the auditory and throwing-blocks tests were re-done, he came back with the exact same hearing loss and the exact same recommended treatment: ear tubes and possible removal of adenoid tissue.

At the first diagnosis, I was not enthusiastic about putting Little Sir under anesthesia. All the work we do to reduce our childrens' exposure to toxins, and we were just going to fill him up with crazy sedatives! Still, after inquiring among the "green" blogger community, I could find no alternative treatments that we had not already tried. In fact, I found several "green" bloggers who attested to having tubes in their own ears as children (I did, too) and having tubes put in their childrens' ears with great improvement.

In the end, we went with the conventional treatment. We are OK with taking some unconventional or alternative routes but, in the end, his hearing is not something we were willing to risk. He had the surgery this Tuesday and is doing great. He says that he can hear much better. 

Has anyone else faced this decision with their children? Did you go with conventional or alternative treatment?

Indoor play at Kidville: a giveaway!

Here in the Dallas area, we're starting to see warmer weather already, but do you know what that means? Rain! Where are you planning on taking your kids to get their energy out when it's too wet to play outside? I recently wrote a post with 7 Days of Indoor Play in Dallas and my #1 suggestion is Kidville, with their Play Village and Big Muscles Gym (which I've written about before). When you purchase a semester of classes at Kidville, you are a member with access to both play spaces. If you're not a member, you might be looking for an opportunity to try out the play spaces before you commit. Now is your chance!

Kidville is turning 2 years old this Thursday, February 7!

To celebrate, they are giving one of my lucky readers a package of 5 playspace passes!
That's 5 great days of play for your kids on rainy days, and a chance to check out Kidville for free.



Just enter using the Rafflecopter form below. You must live in the Dallas area and be over 18 years of age to enter the giveaway. Extra entries by also entering this giveaway on The T-Shirt Mama's blog!

But what if you don't win? Don't cry!

On their birthday, Thursday, February 7, Kidville will be holding an open house event from 9:00am-5:00pm. They will be raffling off several items for people that come in that day, so you can still be a winner!

Spring Break is just around the corner and Kidville is offering 2 different Spring Break Camps this year.

• Superhero – Fairy Princess Camp (ages 3,4,5) from 9:00am – 12:00am


• Sizzlin’ Science Camp (ages 4,5,6) from 1:00pm – 4:00pm

Summer camps are always popular at Kidville! Camps are available or children 18 months – 6 years in 2, 8, 12, or 16 week sessions.

This giveaway has ended, thanks for participating!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Merry guilt-free Christmas!

We were excited to have a white Christmas this year, and so many things to be thankful for!

We celebrated here at our house with our family of four plus my brother-in-law, Garrett. For pictures and info about what we do as a family, you can always check out my family blog, which I am terrible at updating.

We had a great day full of presents and food, and while we spent very little money and chose the childrens' gifts conscientiously, there are a few that were plastic, and therefore not terribly "green". The majority of my son's gifts were actually secondhand, if that helps any. I'd rather not expose myself to green blogger criticism by going into detail about what we gave them, but be aware that we chose even those toys conscientiously because we felt that the experience outweighed the risks.

I don't have a beautiful picture of our entire family together wearing matching anything near a tree because I was unable to corral my children long enough to get anything like that, and honestly, they spent most of the time arguing and fighting (keepin' it real, here). Instead, I have this delicious picture of  the (vegan, soy-free) birthday cake they decorated for Jesus. Obviously, artificial colors were used in the toppings but no trans fats, dairy, or soy.

I hope that each of you had a wonderful, delicious, and guilt-free holiday! I'd love to hear your not-so-green confession in the comments.

I'll be back later this week to review the success or failure of my To Do List from 2012 and explore my new To Do List for 2013!

Last minute teacher Christmas gift

I just wanted to do a quick post on my favorite teacher "thank you" gift, since I know we all love to thank our childrens' teachers at the holidays. Instead of some trinket that might break or sweets that they might otherwise try to avoid (my son's preschool teacher is gluten-free so I wanted to avoid anything that she couldn't eat anyway) -- how about flowers?

My favorite place to get beautiful, unique, and inexpensive flowers is Whole Foods or Central Market. In fact, I got the flowers for my wedding bouquet at Central Market!

Since my son's teacher spends more time with him than my daughters' once-a-week Mother's Day Out teachers, I also added a personalized May Books lined notebook to her gift. May Books are hand-sewn without using plastic or synthetic glue with nasty chemicals. The covers are cloth-based so that they wear to a soft finish.

It's not too late to buy some fresh flowers today!
What is your favorite teacher gift to give or receive (if you are a teacher)?

NOTE: I did not receive any compensation or product for the mention of May Books, although the owner is a personal friend of mine. I just love her products, and I pay for them just like everyone else!

Green find: Squooshi reusable food pouches

When I saw my friend Calley post pictures of a new reusable baby food pouch on Instagram a few months ago, I practically heard angels sing! As you may or may not be aware, at least one of my children is an extremely picky eater and a) will not eat fast food or restaurant food, and b) has trouble eating his veggies. Not saying who it is. Our solution for the last 3 years has been to buy the disposable baby food pouches and carry them along whenever we go out to eat so that he has some kind of nutrition other than rolls or rice (the only other things he'll sporadically eat while out). It's also a good way to sneak in some extra quinoa protein or amaranth grain. I would wait for the pouches to go on sale at $1 apiece and buy them in bulk. I always have a stash in my pantry.

I'm sure you know where this is going...oh, the guilt over throwing away plastic pouches with big plastic lids that are never, ever going to biodegrade! I would throw them away and cringe, thinking "I am sorry, earth!". But even though I'd tried a silicone version of a reusable pouch (HORRIBLE), I could not find an alternative.

Then...Squooshi!

I am totally in love with these adorable reusable food puree pouches! What is even better is that they come in completely plastic-free packaging:

There are four adorable characters in The Animal Series and two sizes: 4 oz. and 6 oz.

Of course, the #1 question is: do they leak?
I have been using them for about 2 weeks and my answer is NO! I even put (goat) yogurt into them for our car trip over Thanksgiving and no leaking at all. The bottom is sealed by a VERY STRONG ziplock-type zipper. The trick is to make sure that you swipe away any puree from the zipping mechanism before closing. This tip is included in the insert that comes with the Squooshi pouches.

What did my kids think?

They both give Squooshi a thumbs-up!

One more item to address: yes, Squooshi pouches are made of plastic. However, at this time there is no plastic-free alternative to the not-so-disposable pouches and in my opinion these are the BEST as far as functionality for reusable options. The plastic used in these pouches is BPA-free, phthalate-free, PVC-free, and lead-free. In addition, since you will always hand-wash these pouches, they will not be exposed to the high dishwasher temperatures that could facilitate plastic chemical leaching.

For an additional viewpoint on Squooshi, surf on over to my friend Nancy's blog, Surviving and Thriving on Pennies.

If you're ready to let go of the "disposables" and take a step toward environmentally friendly nutritious snacking on the go, you can head on over to the Squooshi store and pick up some cute stocking stuffers!

NOTE: I was given the four pouches show for free in exchange for this honest review. All opinions are my own.

Taking our backyard back from the chickens

When we got our backyard chickens, we had rosy dreams of chickens roaming freely and happily throughout our large backyard just the way nature intended and the way that factory farmed chickens are never allowed to live.

Then we got the actual chickens and the amount of poop kind of blew me away. I mean, two chickens -- how much could they poop? And surely they'd mostly poop in the grass, right? The answer to those two questions is: an astronomical amount, and NO.

Those dang things poop aggressively anywhere they can squeeze their fluffy bodies into. Inside the garage in the 5 minutes that the door is open before I back the car out. On top of our picnic table. Directly on top of the back door mat so you step into it as you exit the house. And how they hide the poop in the garage when they manage to get in there so that I step in it on my way to the washer and dryer. NOT COOL, CHICKENS.

We thought we had it under control with our dogged dedication to handwashing and by purchasing backyard-only Crocs that were always taken off at the door to the house so that if anyone stepped in poop it never made it inside the house. We covered every dropping with loose sand from the sandbox and swept it away when it dried. We bought a power-washer for the concrete.

Despite one of my previous commenters' disparaging remarks, I really do not think it was unreasonable for us to assume that two chickens in 1/8 of an acre in full sunlight was a natural breeding ground for all kinds disease. In agrarian societies, humans and animals co-existed for centuries and still do on operating farms today.

Nevertheless, I think it was the sippy cups that really did us in. I like to make sure my kids are well hydrated so I let them carry their sippy cups with them wherever they are playing. Which, unfortunately, included outside. It never occurred to me that they might have been dropping those cups in infected areas and then touching them with their mouths and hands. Even after washing their hands, re-touching those cups again later might have been the cause of what happened: salmonella.

At least, we think it was salmonella. It was 2 weeks of diarrhea with no other symptoms for both kids. When we took Little Sir to the doctor (he was the first to exhibit symptoms), she mentioned that it looked a lot like salmonella but that since he hadn't been touching frogs or turtles, that couldn't be it. Then, either she or someone else casually mentioned chickens later...and I started putting it all together.

My first thought, of course, was to cook those chickens for making my babies sick. But I am a vegetarian and ethical slaughter would probably be expensive and time consuming.

Instead, we locked those chickens up in their coop and power-washed the entire back yard and some of the garage floor. SO MUCH POOP. The chickens were indignant and loud about it. I told them that they were lucky that they were not in a soup already.

This weekend, Christian built a little chicken run around their coop with some chicken wire.



I love it!

Another thing I love, unrelated to this post, is my new screen door for the backyard.



The weather is just now getting cool here in the Dallas area and the kids have been enjoying playing outside in their now-poop-free environment. The screen door makes it perfect because I can even work on dinner with the door wide open to hear them and the bugs won't get in. Both of them have even learned to open and close the door themselves! Big kids!

And that is the story of how we reclaimed our back yard from the chickens.

Eco-friendly party favors: racecar edition

A few weeks ago, my Little Sir turned 3 years old! He requested a "racecar" birthday party. He likes all racecars, so he wasn't really picky about a Disney theme, just cars in general. You can read more about the specifics of the birthday party on our family blog. I am really not much of a party planner, but it was important to me, as always, to keep our ecological footprint as small as possible with this party. I did go with some disposable plates, cups, and napkins. Sorry, earth. At some point I do plan to purchase bamboo plates and utensils. Expensive. Later.

So, OK, I had to focus on only one thing to "green": the favor bags. If you have young kids, you know that favor bags are typically full of plastic things that are thrown away eventually and never, ever biodegrade. I was determined not to contribute to that kind of waste.

For the bag itself, I bought a yard of Disney Cars fabric from our fabric store and made simple drawstring bags with grosgrain ribbons. There were only 4 seams on each one, so it really didn't take much time. Here is a picture of what was inside, pictured laying on top of one of the bags:

1. Cars Halloween themed pencil erasers
2. Car shaped crayon that I made out of our old, broken crayon collection using this tutorial found on Pinterest.
3. Each guest got a Hot Wheels racecar. The metal kind.
4. Cars temporary tattoos. This was also an activity at the party - I had a sponge out and everyone got to apply tattooes.
5. Not pictured - most guests did get one of those paper party blowers, I just didn't have any leftover. Hopefully since they were paper they were biodegradeable.

Now that I look at the list, it could have been more eco-friendly, but this is a good start. We'll try again for Little Lady's birthday!

Kidville Dallas: my fave indoor play spaces

As you probably know, I blog at Dallas Moms Blog and CottonBabies blog to empty my head of most kid-related posts, and I have my highly neglected family blog for random cute pictures of my kids.

But I do want to take a minute and tell all my local friends with kids (even nieces/nephews or grandchildren) about one of my very favorite kids' places: Kidville.

I learned about Kidville through my work with Dallas Moms Blog*. Kidville is an amazing place for kids where they can take classes (with a parent or caregiver or without), get a haircut, shop for toys and clothing, and even attend Kidville University (an alternative to traditional preschool).

I used my membership to sign Little Lady up for Run, Wiggle, Paint and Giggle, which is a once-a-week Mommy And Me class that offers songs and movement and art. She and I go to class at Kidville while Little Sir is in preschool on Tuesdays. It is a wonderful time for us to do an activity together, just she and I. This is something I feel like she really hadn't been able to experience as much as Little Sir did, since she is a second child and we always have him with us too.











Honestly, even if Little Lady didn't love the Kidville class so much, the membership would be more than worth it for access to the indoor play spaces at Kidville. My favorite is the Play Village, because it is open 9am-5:45pm every single day!



It's wonderful for days when it's too hot (all summer!) or too cold or rainy to play outside at a park.

The gym is also a huge hit, although the free play hours there are a little different each semester.

So there's my mom-related blog post and tip for the week/month: Kidville!
We love it!

*NOTE: As a contributor to Dallas Moms Blog, I did receive a free semester of classes which comes with access to all the play spaces. All opinions about Kidville are my own.

Cloth diaper Thurs: BumGenius Freetime

After receiving a number of free cloth diapers at BlogHer 2011, I started a feature on the blog called "Cloth Diaper Thursdays" where I review cloth diapers that I have tried recently or talk more about my cloth diapering journey. For more cloth diapering posts, make sure you check out my contributing posts to CottonBabies blog as well.

~~~

I have to admit that BumGenius is really my go-to brand for cloth diapers (and, disclaimer, I write for their blog). For the first year of my son's life, our stash was exclusively BumGenius. We started out with what used to be called the BumGenius Organic All-In-One, which looked like this:

My main problem with this diaper was the drying time. I loved that there was no need to stuff inserts like pocket diapers but, due to the thickness of the organic cotton, it sometimes took up to 2 days for these diapers to fully line dry in humid North Texas weather! I could dry them in the dryer but that would shorten the life of the waterproofing PUL in the diaper. I found that I could reduce drying time somewhat by detaching one side of the Organic AIO, but eventually even that was cumbersome and I ended up selling all my Organic AIO's on DiaperSwappers.com.

Recently, BumGenius took the Organic AIO off the market and has replaced it with the BumGenius Freetime. Same concept -- an AIO diaper with no pocket-stuffing required, but this time the drying time is significantly reduced due to new materials, and now the inserts are "semi-attached", meaning they are each only attached on one end only:

I love this diaper! The drying time is still more than the BumGenius 4.0 pocket diaper, but not much. Fit is the same, and it does great with both poop and pee. I've also added hemp or cotton doublers underneath the inserts for additional absorbency.

Pros:

• No pocket stuffing
• Great BumGenius fit (one-size diaper that sizes in the rise with snaps)
• Double inserts provide a lot of absorbency
• Reduced drying time
• Super cute colors and patterns!

Cons:

• Longer drying time than a pocket cover & insert

And one more note -- right now CottonBabies is running a Buy 5, Get 1 Free sale on the Freetime diapers. So if you're looking to set up your stash for a new baby (or a 2nd baby!), I'd highly recommend stocking up now!

Rating: 5 out of 5

*NOTE: I received the BumGenius Freetime diaper free from Cottonbabies as a writer for their blog. All opinions are my own. Also, I don't receive any commission or affiliate fees if you buy from Cottonbabies :-(

The Dilemma of Gender Neutral Parenting

Gender neutral toys?

We didn't find out the gender of either of our children because it didn't matter to us which gender they were when they were born. I decorated our first child's room in a gender-neutral palette, and the second child got the exact same crib and decorations because they had to share a room (when she wasn't sleeping with us) until she was around 9 months old.

For years, we'd read about gender neutral parenting. You might have heard about the Canadian couple who will not tell anyone the gender of their child in order to avoid gender stereotyping. That's probably going a little far, in our opinion, but the avoidance of gender stereotyping did sound like a good idea. Moreso after my friend Ashley came out as transgender and I started thinking about how to foster in my children a knowledge of themselves. But as I've traveled this road of parenting, I am realizing it is more and more impossible to be completely neutral. For one thing, there are simply no affordable clothing options in gender neutral colors or designs after the age of 3 months. It was actually quite a challenge to find gender neutral newborn clothes when we were preparing for the births.

Both my children play with cars and trucks, because that is what my son was given as gifts in the past few years. My daughter has been given some baby dolls, but overall she shows little interest with them except to cuddle them - she cuddles everything, whether it's dolls or blankets or stuffed animals. At 18 months, I've never seen her try to feed them, diaper them, rock them, or push them in a stroller. Of course, I guess we'd probably need to have baby doll diapers, a rocking chair, or a baby doll stroller for most of that to happen. None of which we have. She does emulate me by picking up reusable cloth bags, saying "bag!", putting it over her arm, kissing everyone "bye" and "going out". I guess that's what she sees me do when I leave to go out in the evenings or go to work. But that's hardly a female trait.

Since my daughter has so few "girl" type toys, my son doesn't really get to play with many "girl" toys. They both love their play kitchen. He loves to color and paint. Whenever I paint my toenails around him, he always asks to have his painted and I always do. If he asks to wear his sister's hairbows, I let him. He's usually so rough with them that he loses them pretty quickly. Which, incidentally, is exactly what she does with hairbows too.

Overall, we are doing the best we can to be neutral, but it's not what I had envisioned when I was pregnant. To tell the truth, I see other little girls playing with dolls and I feel like my daughter might be missing out. I know I loved combing my dolls' hair and dressing my Barbies when I was a kid, even though I was never a "girly" girl. We actually don't own any sports equipment for my son, but I'm starting to have the same feelings about that as I do about the baby dolls. He actually picks up t-ball bats and balls at the stores and asks to have some, and when he goes over to friends' houses he is very interested in their sports equipment and talks about it afterward.

I like this article from the New York Times last year where the reporter concludes, with the help of Chaz Bono, that gender isn't determined by parenting. I know it's not up to me to determine how my kids are inside, and I guess there's always therapy...still, I obviously want to nurture them in a way that allows them to make choices avoid putting other people into boxes. I don't want either of them assuming that all women stay home and have kids, or that all men work full time in order to make that possible, just because that is how our family currently works. I don't like the fact that somewhere my son picked up the idea that his sister's favorite color must be pink and his must be blue when it used to be orange. I want to keep their hearts open so that ideas of inequality don't creep in.

I'd love to hear from you - how do you discourage gender stereotyping in your children? What do you think about dolls and sports equipment?

Toddler verdict: homemade toothpaste = NO!

In my ongoing quest to be more green, save money, and learn how to make my own stuff, I read Ashleigh's post on making your own toothpaste and thought, "YES!".  I even had all the ingredients in my kitchen already.

My kids are currently 1 year old and 2 years old, and can't brush with toothpaste containing fluoride because they see toothpaste as a snack. They actually ASK for more toothpaste after sucking the paste off the brush. Obviously, I can't allow them to ingest fluoride like that. So I have been shelling out major dinero buying them toddler toothpaste without fluoride that is xylitol-based. If you haven't read the ingredients on your toddlers' fluoride-free toothpaste, please do. If you're buying the cheapest brand, I can almost guarantee that you're allowing them to put high fructose corn syrup or aspartame on their teeth before bed. Why, Colgate, why?!

As far as sweeteners for toothpaste go, xylitol is your best bet because it is actually good for your teeth. However, there are always dyes and other things in the kids' store-bought toothpaste that I don't love.

I made the toothpaste recipe using peppermint essential oil for additional antibacterial properties. I tried it myself and it leaves a wonderful minty clean feeling in the mouth. I felt like I'd just had a teeth cleaning!

I shared it with my husband. He HATED it. To be fair, he hates coconut in all forms: the oil, the smell, the actual nut, the flavor. Everything
. So the fact that it had coconut oil in it at all was a no-go for him.

I shared it with my kids. My 2 year old actually burst into tears and threw a tantrum. My 1 year old would not open her mouth at all. She threw the toothbrush on the ground.

Everyone was crying

So now I have a lovely jar of toothpaste that I enjoy but no one else in the family will touch. We went to the store and bought more toddler xylitol toothpaste, a tube for around $6. It will last about 3 weeks before we have to buy another. Awesome.

I know what it is that my kids want: fruity flavor. They don't like peppermint and they don't like cinnamon. I have been scouring the internets and can't find any recipes for toothpaste that would taste fruity.

What could I use to provide the fruit flavor without artificial chemicals, that also wouldn't have sugar that would build up on their teeth overnight? Ideas, please!

7 Quick Takes Friday #43

--- 1 ---

Yes this is 7 Quick Takes "Friday", but I am posting this one day early, in the evening on Thursday, because I am hoping to have a post about Taste of Dallas late in the day on Friday.

--- 2 ---

In case you were wondering about the ridiculous 7-day gap in posting earlier this week, that was because my husband was out of town for 4 days. Leaving me to do mornings and evenings alone. I wrote about it on Dallas Moms Blog, but that was the most writing I was able to do while he was gone.

--- 3---

I thought I would end up relying more on the TV than I did. I'm proud to say we didn't really go above the normal amount of TV for the kids until the very last day, and even then not much. I realize the fact that my kids watch TV at all kicks me out of the "natural parenting" club for some people, but labels suck anyway. My kids do watch TV, although they are terrible at it. We don't have cable anymore but they do watch PBS kids, shows on Netflix, and DVDs that we borrow from the library. I say they are terrible at it because they tend to start watching and then get distracted and wander off or start fighting with each other while the show is going on. Actually, my 2.5 year old is getting better at being zombie-like for longer periods of time. Which is unfortunate for his brain and all that, but it's making me optimistic about our upcoming airline flights - yay, iPad!

--- 4 ---

Speaking of things that would get me kicked out of the "green" community, I finally went through all our doctors' receipts and compiled what I believe is an accurate record of all my kids' vaccinations. Because yes, we vaccinate. I don't care if you do or you don't. This is the decision we made and I am completely OK with anyone who made a different one. The point of mentioning this is that my doctor charges $15 per child per form to fill out forms for our Mother's Day Out and preschool programs. Since I am not rich, I went through and filled out all of that stuff myself and I hope I got it right. Our doctor also charges $30 per child for their full medical records, which is what we would need if we change insurance companies any time soon (which I hope we do - we buy our own private health insurance and it's ridiculously expensive). I would also need those records if we finally move to holistic/naturopath pediatrician.

--- 5 ---

I understand it's laborious for the pediatrician to put together the paperwork and if everyone asked for all their paperwork all the time it would be prohibitively time-consuming. So I realize that is why they charge me for my own children's records. I guess what they are assuming is that I should be keeping track of this stuff myself. Which is yet another thing I had no idea I was supposed to be doing when it comes to my kids. What class did I miss that taught me about these things I was supposed to be doing all along and I am just now figuring out after 2.5 years of not doing it?

--- 6 ---

I am, as always, on the fence about whether to find a more holistic/naturopathic pediatrician. I really feel like our pedi, while pretty conventional, is great about not over-prescribing meds. And all the holistic/naturopaths I know of are quite a drive away. What do you do for an after-hours emergency with a naturopath? CareNow doesn't do holistic! And what about insurance? Our insurance, being private insurance, pays for pretty much nothing. I had to take Little Lady in once and they ran a test to rule out strep throat - our insurance wouldn't pay for it. Our insurance pretty much only pays what the law requires it to pay for: vaccinations. {retracted political comment}

--- 7 ---

I can hear my husband singing They Might Be Giants songs to my son in the other room. As it should be.



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Well that's all for this week, be sure to visit Conversion Diary for links to more 7 Quick Takes Fridays.

Book: Cleaning House by Kay Wills Wyma

Today's book review also comes with a neat little TV segment interview to give you a better idea of the topic of the book. Kay Wills Wyma actually goes to our church and is one of the teachers at the study I attend during the fall and spring. However, this book isn't a "Christian" book - it's a book about Kay's life and an experiment she did with her kids. This book was not a "how to" or a "what to do". It reads more like a blog than anything... and it is a blog too: The Moat Blog.



Kay realized a few years ago, to her horror, that her kids ages 2-14 years old were really unable to do even some of the most basic things on their own. She started seriously thinking of how our children are affected in the long term when we tend to do things "for" them instead of teaching them how to do those things themselves. We are afraid they'll fail or they won't do it right. Or we rescue them from situations they could have learned from. She has an article in the New York Times this week called Let Them Climb Trees (and Fall).

"Cleaning House" is a book documenting Kay's journey to teach her kids some basic skills and how she watched them grow in confidence and capability, even when they resisted and failed along the away. In the end, the whole family gained a whole new set of skills and a whole new "can do" outlook on life.

I loved that this book made me laugh, sympathize, and keep reading! In fact, I had a book club book I was "supposed" to be reading at the same time but I kept putting it down to read this book instead! It's a highly readable and relatable book. I plan to hang on to my copy and refer to it often over the years to help remind me to teach my kids to learn and fail on their own. I am already practicing this on the playground with my 2.5 and 1 year old, as I let them climb and play on their own. I've actually already done this most of their lives, so that when they fall sometimes now, they are able to brush themselves off and keep going, for the most part. There's a bonus to letting your kids do more on their own, too - if they're still napping, they seem to take better naps after a good independent playing session!

I'd love to hear if you've read this book and loved it as much as I did or if you plan to read it too!




NOTE: I did receive a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this review, but all opinions are my own. If I didn't like it, I promise I would tell you.

#clothdiapers: GoGreen Champ vs BumGenius elastic replacement

It's not even Thursday and I'm talking cloth diapers! I had to post because I have some interesting info for cloth diaper pros: last night I found one major differences between my favorite cloth diapers, the GoGreen Champ and the BumGenius 4.0 One-Size. As you may or may not remember, I've been cloth diapering now for a little over 2 years, and during the last year I've had two babies in cloth diapers simultaneously. This is, of course, quite a beating on the diapers - the PUL, the hook and loop, and the elastic. Fortunately, both these brands of diapers have held up great as far as PUL. I have had to replace all the hook and loop on the BumGenius (which were fully 2 years old or more), but it really wasn't too difficult - just time-consuming.

Minor differences first: for a while, the GoGreen Champ was one of my favorite diapers because a) they have double leg gussets, and b) they were my first diapers with snaps. Now that I've started acquiring some BumGenius snaps, though, I find that the BG snaps are actually less intimidating to childcare/daycare/relatives than the typical cloth diaper snaps because there are only 2 snaps instead of 3, and they are placed in a location on the diaper that is similar to hook and loop placement (and therefore, similar to disposables). That's definitely a score in favor of the BumGenius - snaps last longer than hook and loop and I can bring them to childcare/Mother's Day Out. However, the two diaper brands were still on pretty much equal footing until last night.

BumGenius 4.0,
elastic easily accessible

Here is what swung the pendulum for me: GoGreen Champ diapers have the leg elastic literally sewn into the leg. As in, you cannot replace the leg elastic because there is stitching through the elastic, inside the casing. This is kind of a game changer for anyone who plans to use the diapers for more than 2 years. After 2 years, elastic on pretty much any cloth diaper loses it's elasticity and the legs of your diapers will start to gape and therefore leak. When BumGenius released the 4.0 diaper, they made the leg elastic easily accessible without having to even open a seam. You just snip the old and sew on the new. I've done several replacements on BG 4.0's and it's a breeze! FuzziBunz are even easier, if you're interested.

I did manage to sew new elastic over top of the old elastic on the GoGreen Champ, but it's a messy job and isn't seamless in any sense of the word. It yielded some bumpiness that I don't love. You also have to cut through the PUL casing around the legs, which is going to cause some leakage and eventually will render the diapers unusable. This was a temporary solution for me and I would not recommend it. What most people would have to do is probably actually throw out a GoGreen Champ diaper when the leg elastic goes, or sell the used diaper to someone who wants to try and go through the trouble of adding new elastic.

The inner double leg gussets on the GoGreen Champ, while nice for containing poop, are another replacement issue. You can't replace the leg gusset elastic either without damaging the PUL. Now that I've rigged a temporary replacement of the leg elastic, the inner leg gusset is much more saggy than the legs. All kinds of weirdness in fit now, and the leg gussets are rendered pretty much useless.

In conclusion, I used to recommend GoGreen Champ on equal, or sometimes better, footing than the BumGenius 4.0 but now I definitely won't.

Have you found some way to replace the leg elastic on your GoGreen Champ? If so, I'd love to hear about it and be able to retract this post! It's a great diaper otherwise.


NOTE: Obviously, I did not receive any free product in exchange for the mention of these brands and diapers. As you know, I do write for the CottonBabies blog, which I choose to do because I love and believe in their products.

Balance and margin

Back when I was single, before and during the going-through-therapy-and-recovery days, I had a real problem with over-commitment. It was really a function of me finding my security in what people thought of me because I never wanted to say "no". So I said "yes" even thought that meant double- and triple- and even quadruple-booking my days and nights. I was on the go all the time and I had a lot of breakdowns from overextending myself.

As I grew older and emotionally more healthy, I realized that I did not have to say "yes" to everything. I could create margin in my life and schedule down time. It's true that I lost touch with a lot of my friends from my single days when I got married, but it wasn't because I was so absorbed with my new life that I didn't care about them anymore. I made conscious choices to focus my energies on only a few things, and put my husband as the #1 priority. Having a "doing nothing" weekend was very important to him, so we didn't commit to too many scheduled things. I think this is about the time I started really living consciously, and I started this blog somewhere around then too.

This picture was taken right around the last
time I had a full night's sleep, in 2008

With the birth of my two small children, I once again went back to the "bare bones" of social and volunteer commitments. I hadn't realized how much I'd taken on over the years, but I cut it back to pretty much zero after Little Sir was born, and again with Little Lady. The first year of her life I wasn't working anymore, but I also never slept through the night, so dividing my attention in any way was pretty much out of the question.

I have my fingers crossed as I type this (it's difficult!), but I think I can say it now: both my kids have been sleeping through the night regularly for almost 2 months now. Wow. It's totally amazing. I am starting to find bandwidth in my day that was never there before. By the time my son started sleeping through the night, I had a newborn, so I have not experienced this feeling of sleep since the end of 2008.

With the sleep returns the feeling that I could be doing more. I should clean more, I should sew more, I can volunteer now, I need to start working out...on and on. In the end, it's actually sort of immobilized me. I just want to sit and do nothing because there are too many things I could be doing.

It's the long way of saying this is why I haven't been blogging lately. I actually have some great things to share with you, a few products that I LOVE which I think you will love, and a new career-type endeavor for me.

But while I approach these new things, I do it cautiously. I want to keep the margin of peacefulness I've been forced to cultivate over the last few years. I really do think it is a gift, even if I've mostly used it to sleep.

Do you have any tips for balancing? I'd love to hear your words of wisdom or encouragement!

Living consciously: comparison

I've been thinking a lot about comparison lately. I was listening to a great podcast about mothering, when the speaker threw out this quote (I've heard it several times but can't remember who said it originally):

Comparison is the thief of joy

Wow, that is so true, at least in my life.

I struggle with comparison every time I hear about the mommy wars, and the TIME magazine cover from a few weeks ago really brought this to the forefront for me. It kept bringing me back to a place of comparison with moms who are "greener" and more "natural". I belong to a Yahoo group and a few closed Facebook groups of other "green" and "eco" ladies, who are wonderful resources when I have questions. I appreciate their knowledge and patience with my questions. I have learned so much from them.

But I also have to check my involvement with any group like this because I can easily start off on a mental trail, "Oh no, I'm not doing enough of this! I do too much of that!" Or "My kids eat this/use this/go to the potty/don't go to the potty/sleep/don't sleep...and that means I'm a bad mother". I'm sure if you're a career person, you can easily go there with your career or even your marriage.

If you will permit me to be a little spiritual here, this tendency I have to compare myself and then try to "perform" perfectly has only been calmed in the last 10 years by faith. When I was a teenager, I tried to be the perfect "Christian" and failed miserably. I had a few big wipe-outs, and there was no one around to show me grace. I compared myself to other "Christians" and found myself way, way behind. Sure, I wasn't any Hitler, but I wasn't as good as the people around me either. Looking back, I can see that's where comparison gets you: a weird place where you can't tell if what you're doing is good or bad but you feel 100% responsible for the outcome.

I know a lot of parents feel completely lost in parenting that way. Here we are, responsible for the outcome of actual little peoples' lives, and we have no instructions or directions except what we hear from "experts" who claim to have all the answers, even though they don't know your child personally. In addition, you can find an "expert" who says one thing and simultaneously find another who says exactly the opposite. Who do you even believe? You will never please everyone.

I think what I was reminded of this past Sunday at church was that I am free from the power that comparison used to have over my life. It's true that I don't measure up, and I never will. I do not have the strength or ability to do all of these things right. Fortunately, I'm not going to be judged based on what I do. God loves me enough to have already provided perfectly for me. When He looks at my life, He sees what Jesus already did, not what I do. I told Him once that I accepted this provision, and that was it. I never have to strive for acceptance again, I never have to wonder if I am "good enough". And because I don't have to try so hard to measure up, I am free to pursue a relationship with Him where I simply listen to Him, ask for His help, and then react to what He tells me. Completely free of comparison or obligation. He even provides the strength and the ability when I don't have it. This is the kind of faith that I have, and I am so thankful for it.

As I was reflecting on why I felt no need to read that TIME article, or why it is that sometimes I just click away from my Facebook and Yahoo groups for a while, I realized that it's because I don't need those articles or even my online friends to tell me what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. There is only one Person that I answer to, and I need to be listening to Him. He actually does use my online (and offline) friends to help guide me, and that is a blessing! But I don't have to try to do what everyone else says. I am free from all that.

Now, someone please remind me of that the next time I freak out about how I should probably be making homemade goldfish crackers, because the ones in the store are full of artificial colors that are probably not so healthy....

7 Quick Takes Friday #41

--- 1 ---

I have tried like heck to ignore the whole TIME magazine cover story issue, but the dang thing keeps coming up. I still refused to get involved in it, but I do want to point you to this awesome interview with the Attachment Parenting (AP) moms from the TIME story on KellyMom. In this post, they go really in-depth about how they feel about the whole thing and the reality of AP for them and their families.

--- 2 ---

In case you are wondering, no, my husband and I do not necessarily identify ourselves with AP and all it entails. We do agree with the spirit of the Eight Principles, but not always the exact tenets. That's why I like to identify us as "natural parenting". Just like the FDA has no regulation on the term "natural" when it comes to food, there isn't any specific outline for "natural parenting". To us, it means that we are making decisions about parenting in the way that comes most naturally to us and how it works with the God-given nature of our children's personalities. The approach is based on respect for our children, truth and love based on God's love for us, and what is realistic in our current life stage and physical environment. Also, if I have said it once, I have said it 100 times: every child is different. Including my two children.

--- 3---

Now that we're talking about kids, how is potty training going? Pretty well! So far, he has about 1 accident per day, but that is usually because I didn't take him to the potty frequently enough or because he was scared of the potty that was available. He has an aversion to any potty except his green Ikea potty here at home. But! He was able to go to the potty at school this week (his last week of Mother's Day Out!), and didn't have a single accident while he was there! Yay!

--- 4 ---

I shared this yesterday on Twitter, but I highly recommend that everyone see this excellent video about antibiotics in meat production and why it should be avoided.

--- 5 ---

We will be traveling with both the kids in the near future, in the car, for more than 4 hours. I think I have a good handle on what I can bring to keep Little Sir occupied, but I'm really struggling with what I can do for Little Lady. She is 15 months and puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. I can't let her color or use markers. She is not so great at watching TV, plus she is still facing backwards in her car seat so she can't see the iPad that Little Sir would be watching (dang you, stupid AAP guidelines, you have totally hosed us with Kid #2). Any ideas from readers who have done this recently?

--- 6 ---

I am way overdue for a garden update. But I am really tired right now and it is already getting really hot here in Dallas. Here is a hastily taken picture:



Not pictured: a new soaker hose I have bought because the one that came with the raised beds is terribly ineffective.

--- 7 ---

If you are wondering about the chickens, they are doing well. They produce better eggs when I give them green scraps. I spend a lot of time chasing them and cleaning their poop. Chicken poop is a huge pain in the butt. Think about that before you go getting backyard chickens!

~~~

Well that's all for this week, be sure to visit Conversion Diary for links to more 7 Quick Takes Fridays.

A less sugary PediaSure alternative

At some point, it seems like all kids turn from a baby who eats everything to a toddler who will eat very few things. Little Sir was particularly bad about this since he has never eaten meat or beans of any kind, from the very beginning of his life. I don't mean that I have never fed him meat or beans - I offer them to him constantly, even hiding them in things sometimes. But he KNOWS. He knows there is meat or beans in something and he won't touch it. It does not matter what meat or what kind of beans. To my knowledge, he has never actually tasted a bean, so how does he even know he doesn't like them?!

It was out of concern for his nutritional health that I started adding PediaSure Sidekicks to his milk a few times a day. It started some time after he had stopped formula and transitioned to cow's milk. Yes, as I have blogged before, we drink cow's milk. I lose "green" points for that, but obviously I lose even more "green" points for giving him PediaSure, which is full of sugar. I know it was full of sugar, but the guy is a little skinny fellow and hardly meeting his weight requirements. I had a newborn baby and didn't have time to figure out anything else to do.

Unfortunately, since we were using the chocolate PediaSure Sidekicks, he got very attached to what he called "brown milk". He now refuses to drink white milk. Oh, I tried. I endured several days of tantrums, and he never swallowed a drop of milk the whole time. I can't afford to let his weight drop even more, so I had to find a more natural alternative to chocolate PediaSure.

It turned out to be a 2-part solution.

Part 1 - healthy chocolate milk

Things I tried that did not work:

• chocolate syrup (worked, but had just as much or more sugar)
• cocoa powder (too bitter, didn't mix with the milk)
• Amazing Grass Kidz SuperFood Powder, Outrageous Chocolate Flavor (he hated it. HATED IT. Then I tasted it, and I didn't blame him.)
• Amazing Grass Amazing Meal, Organic Chocolate Infusion Powder (same thing, HORRIBLE stuff. Gah!)

I kept running across chocolate almond milk, but we know from our previous experimentation that it gives him diarrhea. Then I found it: Chocolate Coconut Milk! Sure, it has some added sugar but not much and it's at least organic.

Coconut itself has a ton of great health benefits, so I am feeling good about this so far. If you know of some horrible side effects...well, I guess you could tell me but I am going to be super depressed about it.

UPDATE: We do only add only a bit of coconut milk to his regular cow's milk, just enough to turn it "brown" I do this mainly to save money but also because our pediatrician told us that coconut milk doesn't have all the same nutrition that cow's milk does.

Part 2 - more nutrition, somehow

The #1 suggestion I hear from crunchy sources such as the Natural Parents Network is the green smoothie. I say, it doesn't even have to be green - any smoothie can be helpful because you can add flax powder and essential oils with antioxidants, such as Lemon Essential oil.

We've been making it fun by letting Little Sir come into the kitchen with me and stand on a little stool next to the blender (which is unplugged) while I put things into it. Then he gets to watch while I (plug the blender in and) start the blender and blend the things!

Here's a common iteration of our smoothies, although they vary almost every time:

green (kale, spinach, whatever I have)
blueberries or strawberries (frozen, from Costco)
plain yogurt
banana
celery (if I have it)
1 scoop flax seed powder
a few drops lemon essential oil or 1 tbsp lemon juice
apple juice (organic, no sugar added)
honey (optional)

He likes to put it in a little silicon cup with a straw and drink it at his table.

Sometimes, when I have greens that are on the verge of wilting, I will make a larger batch of smoothie and freeze it in these silicone popsicle molds. Then I'll ask him after naps "would you like a popsicle"? He almost always says yes and it keeps him busy for quite a while!

Have you had nutritional challenges with your toddler? Share your solutions in the comments!


*NOTE: I was not given any of these products for free, I spent my own money on all of it until I found something that worked. The links, however, are affiliate links so if you buy any of the products I get 2 cents or something. Hopefully you can learn from my experimentation and save yourself some money!

Seeing the sights in Dallas...and in life

My Little Lady has a favorite word these days. It sounds like "aaaaaah" to everyone else, but I know what she is saying: "eyes". She loves to point at her own eyes or at my eyes and say that word over and over. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, just like her Daddy and her brother.

One thing that I love about my two little ones is seeing things through their eyes. After living in Dallas for so long, I tend to take for granted the lovely or fun things around me. But when we go anywhere together, my kids are so impressed. The colors of the stop lights! A flower growing on the sidewalk! A doggie! That sign is a triangle!

Our favorite outings are outside, anywhere that they can run around. We enjoy meeting our playgroup friends at the Dallas Arboretum when the weather is nice. Another friend is a member of the Dallas Zoo and takes us there for visits. Our favorite parks in Dallas are Caruth Park and the Scottish Rite Children's Hospital Park.

When the weather isn't so great, we head to NorthPark Mall to see the ducks and turtles.

We love to visit the Dallas Museum of Art on First Tuesdays when it's free, too. It was on one of these Tuesdays that we met David Chicken for the first time, and now the "Recycle Bin" song is in constant demand at our house!

All of these outings have one thing in common: so many things to see. I am so thankful that so far, neither of my children display any of the nearsightedness that my husband I have so severely. Their little eyes are currently still perfect (as far as we know) and can take in so much, from so far away, and so easily.

They can't always describe what they're seeing, but I know they're taking it all in. Little Lady will point and make babbling noises. Little Sir is more vocal - he tells me how he sees numbers and letters everywhere, and often shapes. He has been learning throughout his short life just by seeing what is around him.

Of course, one of my favorite things to see is how they're growing and learning just by experiencing. I may not be a teacher-type person (far from it!), but I don't need to be. All I have to do is provide the opportunities, and they take it all in. I wish I was better at documenting everything. Even when I do grab my camera, it never captures the true spirit of the moment. The best way for me to experience these fun times with my kids is to just see and remember. I hope that I can always do both of those things well.

~~~
Take the pledge
Our eyesight is so important to the way we experience life, and healthy eyesight is key. You can learn more about healthy eyesight and take the pledge, with me, to maintain healthy vision with regular vision screenings by visiting My Eye Promise. For each new promise submitted in 2012, Transitions Optical will donate a brand new book to mobile literacy initiative Bess the Book Bus, helping children nationwide become enthusiastic lifelong readers and reinforcing the important connection between healthy, quality vision and the ability to read and learn.

Get a free vision screening at Taste Addison
This weekend, Christian and I will be heading over to Taste Addison on a date night! While we're there, we'll stop by the Transitions lenses booth, in local partnership with Essilor and First Eye Care. They're presenting the Ultimate Sightseeing Experience with free vision screenings for the whole family, the opportunity to get your photo taken in front of a scenic backdrop and the chance to win prizes and giveaways! Learn more here.

Enter the photo contest online
Sight of the Day Photo Contest: Capturing everyday moments through photography gives you the opportunity to cherish memories for a lifetime. Enter the Official Sponsor of Sightseeing™ Sight of the Day Photo Contest for your chance to win the Ultimate Sightseeing Dream Vacation! Learn more here.

More info on Transitions lenses.
"Like" Transitions on Facebook or follow Transitions on Twitter to learn more!

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I received compensation to participate in SocialMoms and Transitions lenses blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own. To read more posts on this topic, click here.

7 Quick Takes Friday #40

--- 1 ---

We are on the verge of potty training with Little Sir. We are going to try to start this weekend, hopefully with help from Daddy. If you are a praying person, PRAY FOR US. And/or send wine. Thank you.

--- 2 ---

I am sure everyone and their mother, literally, has heard about the Time Magazine cover story. I don't mind the breastfeeding mother on the cover, although does remind me of my breastfeeding failures. I am not super enthusiastic about how the story appears to promote the mommy wars. I didn't read the story but some bloggers have said it doesn't actually claim anyone is right or anyone is wrong. I will have to take their word for that.

Mostly, I realize that Time did this whole thing to create controversy and sell magazines. I kind of refuse to care about the whole thing just on the basis that I don't want that tactic to work on me.

--- 3---

Another news story that is getting far less play in the feminist arena than it should is the instance of big companies targeting "brogrammers", or male-only programmers, in the industry. Being a lightweight programmer myself, and female, I am really annoyed to hear about how Klout ran recruiting campaigns with the slogan "Want to bro down and crush some code? Klout is hiring." I am seriously offended by the insinuation that there are no viable female programmers. Why aren't we more upset about this?! Because there aren't that many female programmers. Kind of makes me wish I was still programming. It also reinforces my dislike of Klout and how much, er...clout they have in the blogging and social media world, of which I am forced to be a part.

--- 4 ---

You guys should all watch Sherlock on PBS. It's totally awesome.

--- 5 ---

My friend Stephanie from Good Girl Gone Green has the most amazing raw lemon pie recipe, I made it this week. Apparently the secret to raw vegan stuff made with nuts instead of flour is to soak the nuts first. I had no idea!

--- 6 ---

I have pulled up the peas in my garden and planted kale. Which is also dying. I am the most awesome gardener. To be fair, they traveled all the way from East Texas in a bag and then sat in a bucket of water for 24 hours before they were planted. STILL.

--- 7 ---

It is currently raining here and our chickens got caught in the rain. Can chickens catch a cold? They were too dumb to go back into their coop. Poor chickens, brains the size of peas.

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Well that's all for this week, be sure to visit Conversion Diary for links to more 7 Quick Takes Fridays.